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Band 6

Many feel that going to the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

#gym #methods
In modern society life,
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
 to
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
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 lifestyle is one of the most important, so there are
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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some of
arguement
Correct your spelling
arguments
 that some people believe that going to the
gym
 is the best way to stay fit.
However
, others think there are more effective methods. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will explore both views of
this
 statement before giving my own opinion.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the one hand, going to the
gym
 has many advantages.
Fistly
Correct your spelling
First
, it provides a wide range of equipment and facilities that can help people achieve their
fitness
 goals.
Secondly
, it offers a variety of classes and activities
such
 as yoga, aerobics, weightlifting, and swimming that can cater to different
preference
Fix the agreement mistake
preferences
show examples
.
Finally
, it provides a social environment where people can meet
like minded
Add a hyphen
like-minded
show examples
 individuals who share their
fitness
 goals.
On the other hand
, some individuals believe that there are more effective methods than going to the
gym
.
For instance
, some prefer outdoor exercises
such
 as running or cycling in parks or other surroundings.
Other
Fix the agreement mistake
Others
show examples
 may find
home based
Add a hyphen
home-based
show examples
 exercises
such
 as using
fitness
 DVDs or running on a treadmill more convenient as they offer flexibility in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of time and location. In conclusion, both going to the
gym
 and alternative methods of staying fit have their advantages. Ultimately, it is up to each
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
show examples
 to decide which approach to take based on their own preferences and lifestyle. Personally, I
excellent
Correct article usage
an excellent
show examples
 option as it provides a wide range of equipment and facilities that can cater to different
fitness
 goals and preferences.
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical well-being
  • prime option
  • structured exercise routines
  • professional equipment
  • fostering an environment
  • motivation and discipline
  • counter-argument
  • outdoor activities
  • home workouts
  • cost-effectiveness
  • social and emotional satisfaction
  • team sports
  • hybrid approach
  • holistic approach
  • comprehensive benefits
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