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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many feel that going to the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

#gym #methods
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In modern society life,
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
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 to
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
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 lifestyle is one of the most important, so there are
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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some of
arguement
Correct your spelling
arguments
 that some people believe that going to the
gym
Use synonyms
 is the best way to stay fit.
However
Linking Words
, others think there are more effective methods. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I will explore both views of
this
Linking Words
 statement before giving my own opinion.
One
Correct your spelling
On
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 the one hand, going to the
gym
Use synonyms
 has many advantages.
Fistly
Correct your spelling
First
, it provides a wide range of equipment and facilities that can help people achieve their
fitness
Use synonyms
 goals.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it offers a variety of classes and activities
such
Linking Words
 as yoga, aerobics, weightlifting, and swimming that can cater to different
preference
Fix the agreement mistake
preferences
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, it provides a social environment where people can meet
like minded
Add a hyphen
like-minded
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 individuals who share their
fitness
Use synonyms
 goals.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some individuals believe that there are more effective methods than going to the
gym
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, some prefer outdoor exercises
such
Linking Words
 as running or cycling in parks or other surroundings.
Other
Fix the agreement mistake
Others
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 may find
home based
Add a hyphen
home-based
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 exercises
such
Linking Words
 as using
fitness
Use synonyms
 DVDs or running on a treadmill more convenient as they offer flexibility in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of time and location. In conclusion, both going to the
gym
Use synonyms
 and alternative methods of staying fit have their advantages. Ultimately, it is up to each
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
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 to decide which approach to take based on their own preferences and lifestyle. Personally, I
excellent
Correct article usage
an excellent
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 option as it provides a wide range of equipment and facilities that can cater to different
fitness
Use synonyms
 goals and preferences.
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical well-being
  • prime option
  • structured exercise routines
  • professional equipment
  • fostering an environment
  • motivation and discipline
  • counter-argument
  • outdoor activities
  • home workouts
  • cost-effectiveness
  • social and emotional satisfaction
  • team sports
  • hybrid approach
  • holistic approach
  • comprehensive benefits
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