Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There can be little doubt that crimes committed by young
people
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are a difficult issue in modern society. I contend that
parents
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should be responsible for the crimes committed by their
children
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, despite those who believe that
children
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should be punished in order to let them feel regret and become better
people
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in the future. It is vital to understand that
children
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should not be punished because of their limited perception. A case in point is the growth of a child's perception, which relies on their parent's actions could make them become rude .
Therefore
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, it is not difficult to understand why
parents
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should be punished and responsible for their
children
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's crimes.
Consequently
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,
children
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's lack of awareness can lead to uncivilized actions in society
such
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as robbery, cybercrime or becoming blackmailers.
However
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, some
people
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say that
children
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should be disciplined in order to make them become good
people
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and never commit a crime again.
This
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point may be true, but their family should know that
children
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are likely to imitate their
parents
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, who would be role models in their
children
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's eyes.
This
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writer believes that the punishment of
parents
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should be enforced.
This
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is
due to
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the habitat surrounding
children
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will be better leading to a brighter future for their
children
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.
This
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is the reason why
parents
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should take care of their
children
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, they
also
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should take responsibility for them .
Thus
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, it can be seen that are
children
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likely to be dependent on and imitate their
parents
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.
Hence
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,
parents
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should try to be a good person and become a role-model in their eyes.
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task response
Address both views in a more balanced manner, citing specific examples for each perspective.
coherence cohesion
The essay has adequate logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed to provide a stronger framework for the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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