Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #crimes #parents

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There can be little doubt that crimes committed by young

people

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are a difficult issue in modern society. I contend that

parents

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should be responsible for the crimes committed by their

children

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, despite those who believe that

children

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should be punished in order to let them feel regret and become better

people

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in the future. It is vital to understand that

children

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should not be punished because of their limited perception. A case in point is the growth of a child's perception, which relies on their parent's actions could make them become rude .

Therefore

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, it is not difficult to understand why

parents

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should be punished and responsible for their

children

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's crimes.

Consequently

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children

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's lack of awareness can lead to uncivilized actions in society

such

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as robbery, cybercrime or becoming blackmailers.

However

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, some

people

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say that

children

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should be disciplined in order to make them become good

people

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and never commit a crime again.

This

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point may be true, but their family should know that

children

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are likely to imitate their

parents

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, who would be role models in their

children

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's eyes.

This

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writer believes that the punishment of

parents

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should be enforced.

This

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due to

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the habitat surrounding

children

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will be better leading to a brighter future for their

children

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This

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is the reason why

parents

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should take care of their

children

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, they

also

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should take responsibility for them .

Thus

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, it can be seen that are

children

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likely to be dependent on and imitate their

parents

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Hence

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parents

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should try to be a good person and become a role-model in their eyes.

Submitted by [email protected] on Mon Sep 04 2023

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task response

Address both views in a more balanced manner, citing specific examples for each perspective.

coherence cohesion

The essay has adequate logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed to provide a stronger framework for the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

264 words

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Fully explain your ideas

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