IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that hard work and determination are the keys to success in life. Some, on the other hand, think that there are other factors behind a successful life. Give your opinion

#people #work #determination #keys #success #life #hand #factors
To succeed in life the need for hard
work
 and
determination
 is undeniable. Of course, the definition of
success
 there is
substantial
Add an article
a substantial
show examples
 improvement of one’s professional, financial, intellectual, or spiritual status. Often it appears that there had been other catalysts for
success
, like opportunity and guidance. But my belief is that, with enough perseverance and diligence all variables in the way of becoming successful may be neutralized. A person, in education, career or soul searching, faces many hurdles, some barely discomforting and others disarming.
That is
 surely beyond argument.
Hence
 there should not be disagreements in saying, hurdles are called
such
 because they require us to put in more effort than usual. The greater the hurdle is, the more effort we must put in. Drawing from
this
,
success
 and the hard
work
 –
determination
Correct your spelling
work-determination
show examples
 factor are positively related to each other. It is as irrefutable as mathematics. A contradictory point of view may project that the formulaic relationship between hard
work
 –
determination
 and achievement may be engineered by the opportunity and/or guidance one might get.
That is
 reasonably agreeable. But
such
 secondary factors can never become the primary.
For example
, it is commonly said that George W.
Bush
, the Senior, has been far more prolific, than his son is, in his military, bureaucratic, and political career,
while
 it is evident that he had to diligently
work
 his way up the ladder, from being a soldier to the fabled US White House. Mr.
Bush
 Junior,
on the other hand
, had most of his way to the
oval office
Correct your spelling
Oval Office
show examples
 already paved by the grace of his patron.
Then
 it may be said that
Bush
 Sr. worked harder than
Bush
 Jr. did, and we all are spectators of their discriminated rapport, as humans and as leaders.
Therefore
, I conclude here that, though some secondary factors sometimes may influence the dynamics of
success
, achievement of it solely depends on hard
work
 and
determination
.
Submitted by hirasattar7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!