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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making traditions aimed at tourists, others, however, believe that it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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These days, there is a big debate between
people
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 about cultural
traditions
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. Some
people
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 believe that when we let visitors use it or earn
money
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 from it, it can cause lots of damage to them. But
this
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 time another side says that there is only one way to prevent our
traditions
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 from disappearance, it should be used by
people
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 who live in another
country
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. In
this
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 essay, I will explain both sides and give some opinions on why it would be beneficial. On the one hand,
people
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 like their culture,
traditions
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, whatever they have in
this
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 life so sometimes they do not want to let us other
country
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's
people
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 because on average more of thousands
people
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 visit every
country
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 around the
world
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. So we do not their goals or why they are visiting one
country
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, for ,
Add an article
the
an
show examples
example they may be agents to follow the culture's rules
then
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 destroy it or at least visiting
people
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 have a tendency to teach things especially if it is another
country
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's traditional things.
Consequently
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, the government will struggle to maintain its traditional values
while
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 Repairing them.
Secondly
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, now we are living changing
world
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 so everyone wants to make
money
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 and display their culture for all of the
world
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 and it is able to bring
money
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 and keep cultural value long time. To better understand let me take an example, around the
world
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people
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 prefer travelling across cultures and seeing their lives, learning
traditions
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, and so on if they were once here enjoy being here next time they would bring friends and even neighbourhood too, it means more
money
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.
As a result
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, the
country
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 has become more and more popular, and society has started living easier than before because of visitors. In conclusion, if
people
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 had more interest in visiting the
country
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, it would bring lots of opportunities like financial, and
people
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 learn a second language thanks to them.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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