IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph shows visits to and from the UK from 1979 to 1999, and the bar graph shows the most popular countries visited by UK residents in 1999.

The line graph shows visits to and from the UK from 1979 to 1999, and the bar graph shows the most popular countries visited by UK residents in 1999.
#line #visits #uk #bar #countries #residents
The line graph illustrates visits to the
UK
 by overseas
residents
 between 1979 and 1999, and the bar graph compares the most popular countries visited by citizens of the
UK
 in 1999. It is measured in
millions
.
Overall
, it can be seen that the
UK
Correct quantifier usage
number of UK
show examples
residents
 that visited
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
abroad increased significantly,
whereas
 visits to the
UK
 by overseas
residents
 grew slightly towards the end of the year. It can
also
 be seen that France has the most visitors from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
those living in the
UK
.
To begin
, the number of people residing in the United Kingdom
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
travels
Correct subject-verb agreement
travel
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
abroad stood at 12
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 1979.
Then
, it grew dramatically to about 52 over the next twenty years and the overseas
residents
 that travelled to the
UK
 began fairly at 10
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 which later rose minimally to 26
at the end
 of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
.
Most
Correct article usage
The most
show examples
 popular
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
 visited by
residents
 in the
UK
 in 1999 was France which had 12
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
UK
 visitors
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 was considerably higher than the other five countries. Followed by Spain which accepted 9
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals living in the
UK
,
whereas
 Greece and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 experienced 4 and 3
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
UK
 immigrants respectively.
Finally
, Turkey was the least country.
Submitted by pauly837 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, residents, millions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼

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