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Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart shows the average size class in primary schools and lower secondary schools in 6 countries compared to the world average in 2006.

The bar chart shows the average size class in primary schools and lower secondary schools in 6 countries compared to the world average in 2006.
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The chart illustrates the medium-sized classes in primary
schools
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 and secondary
schools
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 in South Korea, Japan, the UK,
Mexico
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, Denmark and Ireland and the world average in 2006.
Overall
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, it is noticeable that the lower secondary
schools
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 had the largest
number
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 of
pupils
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 in many countries than primary
schools
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 in the period given. The highest
number
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 of
pupils
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 was in South Korea in both
schools
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,
while
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 the smallest
number
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 of
pupils
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 was in the lower secondary
school
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 in the UK and in the primary in
Mexico
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.
Moreover
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, there was the most considerable difference in
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Correct article usage
the number
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number
Correct article usage
the number
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 of
pupils
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 in
Mexico
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 between the two
schools
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. In terms of South Korea, both the primary and lower secondary
schools
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 had the highest quantity of
people
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, namely 35 and under 35 respectively.
Similarly
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, the
number
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 of
pupils
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 studying in lower secondary
school
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 in
Mexico
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 was higher compared to primary
school
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, 30 and 20 respectively.
Furthermore
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, the figure for the
number
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 of
people
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 in Japan was just under 35,
whereas
Linking Words
 the primary
schools
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 accounted for only 30. Regarding the
number
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 of
pupils
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 , the primary
schools
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 had the lowest quantity of
people
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than
Change preposition
in
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lower
Correct article usage
the lower
show examples
 secondary. There was a negligible difference in numbers of
people
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 in Denmark and Ireland, with approximately 22 and exactly 20 respectively.
However
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
people
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 who study in primary
school
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 in the UK was approximately 27 which was bigger compared to lower secondary
school
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, namely 17.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words schools, mexico, number, pupils, school, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 9 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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