IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people prefer to live in hot climates. Whereas others love the lifestyles in countries with cold climate. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a notion asserting disparate taste from human beings.
Although
Linking Words
 some people declare that scorching hot is satisfactory for them.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 others have been fond of cold climates. It is my firm conviction ,
I
Correct word choice
that I
show examples
honestly think opinions are divided and heavily based on their nature. It is common knowledge , that the majority of the population was brought up in warm conditions of
humidity
Use synonyms
 and is accustomed to that .
Nevertheless
Linking Words
 ,their bodies are capable of living in
this
Linking Words
 situation ;
however
Linking Words
 , each coin has two sides. Take the south of Iran as an example ;
whereas
Linking Words
 incredibly high temperature would cause the population to encounter issues which is detrimental
likewise
Linking Words
, profusely sweating each day could be exasperating. In fact, it has numerous beneficial effects
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it has greatly influenced blood and contains a hospitable attitude and people gain vitamins from sunshine markedly . Even though , it is undeniable that others keen interest in the coldest climates. Probably, it must be preferable for them , owing to the
humidity
Use synonyms
 being peaceful .
Also
Linking Words
, it seems that they might neglected some drawbacks because a myriad of individuals get ahead in
this
Linking Words
 case.
For instance
Linking Words
 , the centrepiece property of Canada is experiencing the coldest temperature in countries
while
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 a freezing
humidity
Use synonyms
 is able to bring snow,
then
Linking Words
 government make the most of it and consumes it as useful notification
such
Linking Words
 as skating rink to promote the interest of tourists to visit there .So it creates substantial revenue pertaining to visitors. To recapitulate , I believe it would not be surprising if we respect to whole point of view and do not jump to conclusions. Each person has the right to determine a place that suits them despite the fact that it does not have a balmy
humidity
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Inadequate coverage of the topic and lack of clear position on both views. Provide a more balanced and thorough discussion of the two viewpoints, and clearly express your opinion at the end of each viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but there is room for improvement in terms of linking ideas and developing a more cohesive argument throughout the essay. Work on providing a clear structure and using cohesive devices to connect ideas more effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • temperate
  • scorching
  • bustling
  • rejuvenate
  • serenity
  • thriving
  • frigid
  • exhilarating
  • hibernation
  • invigorating
What to do next:
Look at other essays: