IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many feel that going to the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#gym #methods
It is believed that
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
 fit by going to the fitness
Replace the word
centre
show examples
central
Replace the word
centre
show examples
 is the best choice
while
 others think there are a
lot
 of methods better.
This
 writer
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
 with
this
 statement because there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more equipment than outside. On the one hand, going to the gym can help you to train correctly because there are a
lot
 of professional people there who can guide you
a
Change preposition
through a
show examples
lot
 of
exercise
Change to a plural noun
exercises
show examples
 to practice.
For example
, there are a
lot
 of gesture effectively to do in the fitness centre, other people can help you to know how to do these
exercise
Fix the agreement mistake
exercises
show examples
, so you keep fit better than training outside.
Moreover
, going to the fitness centre can give you a beautiful shape, workout in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right way can help your body evenness on every part.
For example
,
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
workout
Correct your spelling
work out
show examples
 for your hands
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
may
be make
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 your hands bigger than
other part
Change the wording
another part
other parts
show examples
 of your body,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can break the harmony of your shape.
On the other hand
,
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 out for training is not a bad choice, you can save a
lot
 of money
to buy
Change preposition
by buying
show examples
membership
Add an article
a membership
the membership
show examples
. In fact, there is a large amount of money that you
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 on buying
ticket
Add an article
a ticket
show examples
 to a gym and you don’t have to pay if you
workout
Correct your spelling
work
show examples
 outside. What is more, going out for training
instead
 of going to the athletic club can help you manage your time better,
training
Wrong verb form
train
show examples
 anytime if you want and be independent. In conclusion, there are a
lot
 of
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
 to keep fit effectively,
going
Correct word choice
and going
show examples
 to a gym is the best method
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 everybody.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical well-being
  • prime option
  • structured exercise routines
  • professional equipment
  • fostering an environment
  • motivation and discipline
  • counter-argument
  • outdoor activities
  • home workouts
  • cost-effectiveness
  • social and emotional satisfaction
  • team sports
  • hybrid approach
  • holistic approach
  • comprehensive benefits
What to do next:
Look at other essays: