IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many feel that going to the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#gym #methods
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It is believed that
Wrong verb form
staying
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stay
Wrong verb form
staying
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 fit by going to the fitness
Replace the word
centre
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central
Replace the word
centre
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 is the best choice
while
Linking Words
 others think there are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of methods better.
This
Linking Words
 writer
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
 statement because there
are
Change the verb form
is
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 more equipment than outside. On the one hand, going to the gym can help you to train correctly because there are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of professional people there who can guide you
a
Change preposition
through a
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lot
Use synonyms
 of
exercise
Change to a plural noun
exercises
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 to practice.
For example
Linking Words
, there are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of gesture effectively to do in the fitness centre, other people can help you to know how to do these
exercise
Fix the agreement mistake
exercises
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, so you keep fit better than training outside.
Moreover
Linking Words
, going to the fitness centre can give you a beautiful shape, workout in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 right way can help your body evenness on every part.
For example
Linking Words
,
you
Change the pronoun
your
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workout
Correct your spelling
work out
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 for your hands
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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may
be make
Change the verb form
make
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 your hands bigger than
other part
Change the wording
another part
other parts
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 of your body,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can break the harmony of your shape.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
go
Wrong verb form
going
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 out for training is not a bad choice, you can save a
lot
Use synonyms
 of money
to buy
Change preposition
by buying
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membership
Add an article
a membership
the membership
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. In fact, there is a large amount of money that you
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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 on buying
ticket
Add an article
a ticket
show examples
 to a gym and you don’t have to pay if you
workout
Correct your spelling
work
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 outside. What is more, going out for training
instead
Linking Words
 of going to the athletic club can help you manage your time better,
training
Wrong verb form
train
show examples
 anytime if you want and be independent. In conclusion, there are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
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 to keep fit effectively,
going
Correct word choice
and going
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 to a gym is the best method
with
Change preposition
for
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 everybody.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical well-being
  • prime option
  • structured exercise routines
  • professional equipment
  • fostering an environment
  • motivation and discipline
  • counter-argument
  • outdoor activities
  • home workouts
  • cost-effectiveness
  • social and emotional satisfaction
  • team sports
  • hybrid approach
  • holistic approach
  • comprehensive benefits
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