IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many feel that going to the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods

#gym #methods
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While
Linking Words
 many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that doing exercises at the
gym
Use synonyms
 is better to keep fit than other
methods
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, both of these statements
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own benefits,
however
Linking Words
, I personally think that
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 effective
methods
Use synonyms
 have more advantages. It is true that the
gym
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 has
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
fitness
Change preposition
of fitness
show examples
 equipment to serve
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
demand
Correct subject-verb agreement
demands
show examples
. To illustrate,
treadmill
Fix the agreement mistake
treadmills
show examples
, abdominal exercise
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 and other specialized exercise machines are frequently used in
Use synonyms
gym
Fix the agreement mistake
gyms
show examples
. These machines contribute to
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 muscles,
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
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 to keep in shape for woman.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
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, instructors at the
gym
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 can give
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
 diet information. They are the
people
Use synonyms
 who understand clearly the diet and the muscles, so
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who join the
gym
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 will have a free consultation.
In
Change preposition
On
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other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 side, I hold the belief that other
methods
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 can bring the same experience as going to the
gym
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, running, walking or cycling can support mental health better than going to the
gym
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.
As these
Correct word choice
These
show examples
 exercises provide
people
Use synonyms
 a fresh air and space to relax their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
people
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 do not need to pay
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 when they do sports like the
gym
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. They can save a mount of money but still
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
 to keep fit.
To sum up
Linking Words
, going to the
gym
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 or
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 effective
methods
Use synonyms
 always provides good health for
people
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,
however
Linking Words
,
another
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
I believe
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
methods
Use synonyms
 have more advantages.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical well-being
  • prime option
  • structured exercise routines
  • professional equipment
  • fostering an environment
  • motivation and discipline
  • counter-argument
  • outdoor activities
  • home workouts
  • cost-effectiveness
  • social and emotional satisfaction
  • team sports
  • hybrid approach
  • holistic approach
  • comprehensive benefits
What to do next:
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