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The graph below shows the percentage of mobile phone owners using various mobile phone features in Vietnam in the year 2005, 2008, 2010.

The graph below shows the percentage of mobile phone owners using various mobile phone features in Vietnam in the year 2005, 2008, 2010.
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The table illustrates the proportion of possers of mobile phones using different mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 features in Vietnam in the years 2005, 2008 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that the proportion of people using make calls was the highest ,
while
Linking Words
the
Capitalize word
The
show examples
 percentage of take photos was the smallest.
Moreover
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 ,the percentage of all types of mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 features decreased, except taking photos.
Firstly
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, the using of make calls had the highest percentage, namely 100%.
Moreover
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, it maintained the same level in 2005 and 2008.
However
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, in 2010 it fell to 97% and was the biggest used type of mobile
phone
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the usage of taking photos was 65% , before going up to 70% in 2008.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it rose moderately to 77% in 2010, but it was the lowest using type of mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 over the period in question. With regards to sending and receiving text messages, it was approximately 82%, but it dropped to 73 % in 2008 .
Therefore
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, it decreased to 5% compared to 2008, roughly 68%. The figure for record studios,accounted for 78%, before decreasing to 75%.
However
Linking Words
, it went down to 63% in the final years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, moreover".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words phone with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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