The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in Calgary, 2000-2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

#data #earnings #three #bakeries #calgary #summarise #information #features #comparison

The given graph illustrates the information regarding the yearly

income

of three bakeries from 2000 to 2010.

Overall

the figure indicates the amount of money

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

Amandine

Bakery

and Bolo

bakery

Capitalize word

Bakery

show examples

earned

substantial

Change the word

substantially

show examples

amount of money ( or their

income

increased substantially),

while

the earnings of Mari Bakeshop

shows

Correct subject-verb agreement

show

show examples

considerable

Correct article usage

a considerable

show examples

decline throughout these periods. At

first,

Mari

Bakery

was the most popular

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to others

while

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

replaced

Add a missing verb

was replaced

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

Amandine

Bakery

in 2010. Moving to details, Mari Bakeshop earned approximately $80000 in 2000, showing incremental fluctuation, it made the least amount of money ( just $40000) in 2010. Amandine

Bakery

and Bolo depict an upward trend, starting from $59000 and $20000 respectively in 2000, the former reached the highest

income

in 2010, making more than $

100.000

Correct your spelling

100,000

while

the latter’s revenue was just about $62000. It is worth noting that Amanda

Bakery

passed

steady

Correct article usage

a steady

show examples

trend from 2000 to 2005 and their

income

was slightly less than $60000 in these years

Submitted by diana_ft91 on Tue Sep 05 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words income, bakery with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "substantial" was used 2 times.

▼

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

159 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in Calgary, 2000-2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

In some places, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that professional workers such as doctors and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Road transport is taking over rail services.Discuss the positive and negative effects of this development.Is this situation true for your country?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common and we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both points and give your own opinion.