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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph shows the information average number of visitors entering a museum in summer and winter in 2003. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words. Writing task 1 Writing

The line graph shows the information average number of visitors entering a museum in summer and winter in 2003. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words. Writing task 1 Writing
#line #information #visitors #museum #summer #winter #report #university #lecturer
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The line graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
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for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a museum in the UK in two seasons (
summer
Use synonyms
 and winter) in 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of
visitors
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 in
summer
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more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
 than
winter
Change preposition
in winter
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
visitors
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 prefer visiting the museum between 9:00 am and 12:00 pm and
this
Linking Words
amount
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 decreased after the mid-day. With regards to the
amount
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 of
visitors
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 in
summer
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, it began from 9:00 am and climbed rapidly to reach around 1300
visitors
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 at 10:00 am. Between 10:00 am and 12:00 pm, there is a slight increase in number of
visitors
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 at around 1500 which is the highest
amount
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 in
summer
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 before falling gradually after 12:00 pm to 16:00 pm,
then
Linking Words
 drop dramatically before closing at 18:00 pm.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the number of
visitors
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 in winter fluctuated at around 450 to 550
visitors
Use synonyms
 from 9:00 am to almost 11:30 am.
This
Linking Words
 figure, decreased from 12:00 pm to 14:30 pm
then
Linking Words
 remain stable to 18:00pm.
Submitted by halah.z.alamri on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, visitors, summer with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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