IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages

#countries #people #population #governments #society
In the present time, there is a higher percentage of elderly
people
 in many places. A lot of
people
 would argue that they provide greater influence,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 there are some that think that they only cause more casualties. In
this
 essay, I will highlight the huge advantages of having an old population group in society.
To begin
 with,
people
 who belong to the elderly have more experiences in life for the reason that they have lived for many years.
For instance
, our grandparents can contribute to our values. They will guide our parents on how to raise us properly to become the responsible individuals that we are now.
Moreover
, they can directly give us answers to certain questions that we have because they already encountered it sometime in their lives. One of the disadvantages that some may point out is that they can be a burden to us. Since older
people
 continue to age, they tend to get sickly as well and with
this
 ,notion some would say that they only cause more problems in terms of bringing them to hospital to get treatment will only result in spending more money, time, and effort.
However
, in my ,opinion
this
 act of kindness towards them is nothing in comparison to their hardships in raising and providing a better life for us. In conclusion, there might be one to two disadvantages of having more elder
people
 around for the reason that their health becomes poor and they move slowly,
nevertheless
Add a comma
,nevertheless
show examples
 the advantages prevail over it because they have contributed many things for us to have satisfactory and bearable life.
Submitted by kathv on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
What to do next:
Look at other essays: