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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, most countries can improve the standard of living through economic development, but some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?

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In recent years, there has been a growing debate about economic
growth
Use synonyms
 in certain countries.
While
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 some think that
this
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trend
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 offers numerous merits to the country as it enhances the quality of life, others argue that
such
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trend
Correct article usage
a trend
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 brings potential downsides to national traditions. Personally, I strongly believe that the benefits of economic contributions
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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far
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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outweigh
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 drawbacks.
To begin
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 with, the
development
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 of the economy can improve several issues in the nation.
Firstly
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, it provides more job opportunities and a higher employment income
as a result
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 of business
growth
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, deterring not only unemployment issues
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 poverty problems which are the major challenges for numerous local councils.
Moreover
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,
such
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development
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 directly gains government financial benefits.
Thus
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, they can allocate more financial resources to enhance
welfares
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welfare
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 and services for citizens.
For example
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, in Germany, where their engineering industries
has
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have
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 contributed to economic
growth
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 over the period, the administration provides less education costs for students and
improve
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improves
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 their healthcare sectors, resulting in a better basic requirement for living.
On the other hand
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, those who are the on opposite side of economic
development
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 believe that
such
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trend
Correct article usage
a trend
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 causes
nation’s
Correct article usage
a nation’s
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 values to disappear. Loss of family values is the major concern for
this
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trend
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 as
considerably
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considerable
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 business
development
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 requires a large number of staff
dedicated
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to dedicate
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 their life
on
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to
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 working. Many parents,
therefore
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, lose their time to foster their children since they need to spend longer time at
Correct article usage
the workplaces
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workplaces
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workplace
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. Another issue is losing traditional cultures because of country
development
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, resulting in
adoption
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the adoption
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 of
western
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Western
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 or developed countries’
lifestyle
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lifestyles
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.
As a result
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, certain local traditions
such
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 as traditional clothes or local food may disappear over time. In conclusion,
although
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 there are those who do not agree with economic
growth
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 as it causes family values and local cultures
are
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to be
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 gone, in my opinion, I firmly believe that
such
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 enhancement contributes various benefits to the country not only
solving
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by solving
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 poverty and unemployment issues, but
also
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 services enhancement for citizens.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • economic development
  • social values
  • materialism
  • community welfare
  • sustainable technologies
  • environmental degradation
  • social stratification
  • social cohesion
  • economic status
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