IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many museums charge for admission while orthers are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #orthers #people
taking
Capitalize word
Taking
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charges
Fix the agreement mistake
charge
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from
Change preposition
of
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people
 has been
continuosly
Correct your spelling
continuously
 increasing in the world because it has a lot of
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 for not only the government but
also
 every folk
whereas
, free
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
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 offer
benefit
everyone
Change preposition
to everyone
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 either who is wealthy or poor.
as
Capitalize word
As
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 per my
persective
Correct your spelling
perspective
, taking money from the individuals are greatest
benefit
 than free of cost.
in
Capitalize word
In
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this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will explain clearly . There are numerous advantages why charging
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
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 are
benefit
 to all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
.
first
Capitalize word
First
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 and foremost, if we give money to the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 for the
museum
 that will give
better
Add an article
a better
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 opportunity to watch anything because when
people
 will give revenue to the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
due to
 that they protect their ancient
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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 and
searching
Wrong verb form
search for
show examples
 different types of things because
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 country folk will take more interest.
for
Capitalize word
For
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 instance, in
new delhi
Correct your spelling
New Delhi
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where
Rephrase
apply
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people
 take
ticket
Add an article
a ticket
the ticket
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entry and they enjoy
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
,
moreover
, they can enhance their
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 after watching new things.
on
Capitalize word
On
show examples
 the other hand, why musuem should be free as there are some
people
 who are poor in our country and they can not afford too much fees
due to
 that, they do not watch ancient culture.
however
. they
strugle
Correct your spelling
struggle
 in their life.
if
Capitalize word
If
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 museums
will
Verb problem
were
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 free for every individual
so
Rephrase
apply
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, they
can
Wrong verb form
could
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 see their ancient culture
as well as
,
can
Verb problem
apply
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entertain themself.
to
Capitalize word
To
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 illustrate, in my country , there are few
museum
Change to a plural noun
museums
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 that are free where
people
 go there with their family and enjoy and take knowledge from their old picture
such
 as, some painting which gives some memory when
people
 see they learn how was our culture.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
 conclusion,
although
 free
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
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museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
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provide
Change the verb form
provides
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much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
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 more
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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still
Rephrase
apply
show examples
, charging
Change preposition
for museum
show examples
Change preposition
for museum
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 gives better advantages to
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 because
Correct pronoun usage
they
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 can renovate
Change preposition
apply
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to
Change preposition
apply
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all the old things that would not
harmful
Add a missing verb
be harmful
show examples
Change preposition
to
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals.
Submitted by tanwarneha678 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial sustainability
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Exhibits
  • Educational programs
  • Facilities
  • Technology
  • Curatorial expertise
  • Visitor experience
  • Value perception
  • Accessibility barriers
  • Inclusiveness
  • Cultural resources
  • Alternative funding
  • Grants
  • Donations
  • Sponsorships
What to do next:
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