It is very expensive to restore old buildings,and it would be better to spend this money on new houses .To what extent do you agree ?

Nowadays, Old
buildings
restore
Verb problem
apply
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price is
very
Rephrase
more
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expensive than new
houses
. I agree with the topic. Because these days, all material & and goods price is very high. I will discuss the topic.
To begin
with, these days, many
people
build a new
house
instead
of repairing their old
house
.
In addition
, Some
people
like to repair their old
house
.Because it is their grandparent'
house
or being other reasons. But nowadays ,all inradius are very expensive
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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cement ,metal, wood, furniture and other types of equipment.
Furthermore
, most
people
like to build a modern
house
. From time to time housing plans change in our societies.
Then
younger adults would like to purchase a new home
instead
of repairing the old building. 
Subsequently
, old
houses
are
very
Rephrase
much
show examples
big
Correct word choice
bigger
show examples
rather
Rephrase
apply
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than modern
houses
. Because in the past, many extended families lived in the
house
.
Therefore
four or five bedrooms,two living,big kitchen were included in that
house
.The old
house
repair is very risky in our society. Another thing,
money
and time are wasted
for
Change preposition
on
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restoring old Building. ,
Currently
Add a comma
,Currently
show examples
all
people
do have not a lot of
money
. Because the world economy is very critical.
Therefore
, they do not like to spend more
money
on old
buildings
. After that, most
people
like to build modern style
houses
as well as
small spaces
house
many
people
living busy lifestyle
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
they do not like to clean more spaces.
Then
people
think the old building is not good and they
are moving
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
to new
buildings
.  In Conclusion. I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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old
house
reparing
Correct your spelling
repair
is more expensive than new
buildings
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
its building is very old and a lot of damages have in
this
buildings
. A lot of
money
invest
Wrong verb form
is invested
show examples
in the repair of the old home .
Then
It is better to replace the
money
for the new building
instead
of repairing the old
buildings
.
Submitted by heshanij9 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Historical significance
  • Architectural style
  • Craftsmanship
  • Sustainable
  • Minimize
  • Energy efficiency
  • Housing shortages
  • Affordable options
  • Stimulate local economies
  • Tourism
  • Restoration industries
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