IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people think that traditional culture can be destroyed by using it as a money-making attraction for tourists. However, others believe that it is the only way to save traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #culture #attraction #tourists #traditions
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,society tends to promote traditional objects,places or clothing so that they can gain tourists, with the help of social media not thinking about the consequences,even though
this
 way might benefit a number of local businesses.In
this
 essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of making
traditions
 popular. Today's modern technology can make
folks
 improve their acknowledges of other communities' cultures and
traditions
,and probably visit that place.
For instance
, many
folks
 discover new places full of different
traditions
 that they know on social media as locals from that place try to promote them.
Furthermore
, making heritage known to the world will make
folks
 respect and tolerate other people's beliefs.
On the other hand
, commercializing the
traditions
 of a society can make people forget about the rules and their beliefs in order to make money and
also
 can be ruined by other
folks
 if they try to change the traditional culture of that place, object etc.
For example
, numerous designers use as a piece of inspiration the traditional clothing of a nation and most of them do not care about the symbol of what that clothing might represent as long as they can make money from it. In conclusion, promoting folklore to attract tourists can benefit a lot of people, as long as, some boundaries for protecting the culture and tradition of a nation are put into practice so that everybody can benefit,not only the tourists but
also
 the locals.
Submitted by annadrezaliu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: