The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

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The line graph illustrates the

population

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growth in four different nations (The

Philippines

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Malaysia

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Thailand

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, and

Indonesia

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) between 1970 to 2020, with estimations for 2030 and 2040.

Overall

Linking Words

, the number of people living in

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Philippines

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the Philippines

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has the highest proportion among these Asian countries. The

population

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figures for the four countries experienced a significant increase during the period shown. In 1970, the proportion of the

population

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Philippines

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the Philippines

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and

Malaysia

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reached approximately 30%,

while

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the data was almost double in

Indonesia

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. In stark contrast, the figure stood at 19% in

Thailand

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. In 2020,

Malaysia

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overtook

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Philippines

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the Philippines

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as the country with the largest number of citizens, reaching around 75%.

Indonesia

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witnessed a considerable increase, being at 50%.

In addition

Linking Words

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Philippines

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the Philippines

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underwent a gradual rise to 45% and

Thailand

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grew by some 10%. In 2040, the

population

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Malaysia

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is estimated to reach a peak of 80%,

while

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the

population

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data for

Indonesia

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and

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Philippines

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the Philippines

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are expected to experience a minimal climb, reaching 60% and 50%, respectively.

By contrast

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Thailand

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is predicted to grow to about 45%.

Submitted by armyzone9999 on Wed Sep 06 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, philippines, malaysia, thailand, indonesia with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

174 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

graph
percentage
population
Asian countries
living in cities
1970
2020
predictions
2030
2040
introduction
overview
trend
body paragraph
compare
predicted percentages
summarize
closing statement

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Nowadays tourism generates a significant part of national income for many countries, but it has certain drawbacks too. This essay will examine the advantage and disadvantages of tourism and provide a logical conclusion.

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