The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income, to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#consideration #career #job #income

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We live in a

mterialistic

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materialistic

world

which

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in which

show examples

everything is related to money. Some individuals believe that having a satisfying salary is the most

considerable

Correct word choice

important

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thing that everyone pays attention to

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

when they want to choose their career. I

compeletly

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completely

agree with

this

Linking Words

statement and I believe that daily wage should

prioretize

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prioritize

to other

cruical

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crucial

critical

factors

such

Linking Words

as a friendly and

convinient

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convenient

workplace. Some people advocate that the effect of a friendly environment and job safety are more critical than salary because we spend most of our efficient daily time in the workplace, so we need to stay mentally healthy.

However

Linking Words

, we live in a modern society and developmental technologies are implemented in all aspects of our lives.

For instance

Linking Words

, some technological items

such

Linking Words

as smartphones and laptops are two

unsepratable

Correct your spelling

inseparable

parts of our career. These

electronical

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electronic

gadgets require big amounts of money to purchase.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, children have compared themselves with their peers in the case of clothes and stationery.

Correct your spelling

Additionally

Linking Words

,teenagers need some extracurricular activities

such

Linking Words

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

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and music classes, so parents should have satisfying salaries to

affoard

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afford

these requirements.

Moreover

Linking Words

, in some developing countries,

such

Linking Words

as Africa, the price of accommodation and vehicles are

incredibley

Correct your spelling

incredibly

high and there are not enough job opportunities.

Therefore

Linking Words

, in these situations, people are ready to do whatever they can to provide primary supplements for their family members. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

there are some factors that should be considered

about

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apply

show examples

the choosing

career

Correct article usage

a career

show examples

, I think that daily wages are the most vital part because money is the initial part of our safety in

thechnological

Correct your spelling

the technological

generation.

Submitted by shima.majidansari on Wed Sep 06 2023

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Task Response

Ensure a clear position is taken at the start of the essay, followed by a balanced argument that explores both perspectives.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a more varied range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively.

Lexical Resource

Expand your range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and coherently. Avoid repetition of words.

Grammatical Range

Pay attention to sentence structure and use a wider variety of grammatical structures to demonstrate a better command of grammar.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
job satisfaction
long-term happiness
personal fulfillment
financial stability
passion
quality of life
work-life balance
career advancement
societal impact
income disparity
material success
monetary compensation
wealth accumulation
economic well-being

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The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income, to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all times. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?Find essays with the same topic

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a job.On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Disscuss both sides and give your opinion.