IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some say that sports play an important role in society. Others, however, think that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#say #sports #role #society #leisure #activity
I agree with the statement that
sports
 play a strong
role
 in society. I have some opinions about it. First of all, In my view, every
sport
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
important
Correct article usage
an important
show examples
role
 in
social
Add an article
the social
a social
show examples
 network. Because
sport
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
people
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
change
 our health,
body
.
Sports
 make
people
strongly
Change the word
strong
show examples
.
For example
, in 2016 I started boxing, and
this
 activity
change
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
 my life. I bulking muscles
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 my mental health.
Secondly
,
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 on of
activities
Correct article usage
the activities
show examples
 where
people
 meet with other
people
.
Firstly
, it is very helpful for children. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they
are need
Change the verb form
need
show examples
a
Fix the infinitive
to a
show examples
build social network with
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
. I sure,
team
Correct word choice
that team
show examples
play
Verb problem
apply
show examples
sports
 improve
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 communication skills.
For instance
,
4
Change preposition
at 4
show examples
years
age
Change preposition
of age
show examples
 my little brother
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 a shy person, and he does not have
a friends
Correct the article-noun agreement
friends
a friend
show examples
. And my father
apply he
Wrong verb form
applied
show examples
 to
football
Add an article
the football
a football
show examples
 team in school.
Few
Correct article usage
A few
show examples
month
Change to a plural noun
months
show examples
 later, he
find
Wrong verb form
found
show examples
 a new
friends
Correct the article-noun agreement
friend
show examples
,
girlfriend
Correct article usage
a girlfriend
show examples
.
Thirdly
, I see research in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 about
role
Add an article
the role
show examples
 of
muscle
Fix the agreement mistake
muscles
show examples
 and face in dating. In
research
Add a comma
,research
show examples
 I read,
mans
Correct your spelling
men
show examples
 who are more attractive than other
mans
Correct your spelling
men
show examples
 have
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 positive
response
Fix the agreement mistake
responses
show examples
 from girls. Of course,
mans
Change to a genitive case
man's
show examples
body
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
in
Correct article usage
an in
show examples
 dating important
role
, and I sure
sports
 help
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
change
 it. Because major of
sports
 helpful for bulking, improve
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
.
For instance
, in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Add a comma
,school
show examples
 I
be
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 a little and
does
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 not have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
strong muscles.
Where
Correct word choice
When
show examples
 I go to college I
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 a
change
 my view about
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and, gym
show examples
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
show examples
. And after
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 years I have
very
Add an article
a very
the very
show examples
 masculine
body
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and maybe
change
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
 my height. I started
listen
Wrong verb form
listening to
show examples
 some compliments from our
people
, like
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
“
you
Capitalize word
You
show examples
 look
such
 as playboy”.
Summerize
Correct your spelling
Summarize
show examples
, I
sure
Add a missing verb
am sure
show examples
sport
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
helpful
Change the adjective
helpfully
show examples
 for
improve
Change the verb form
improving
show examples
 some
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
role
 in society.
People
 like
see
Fix the infinitive
to see
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
their
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 stars, buy
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clothes or any emblems
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
love
Replace the word
loved
show examples
 team.
Millions
Add the preposition
ofMillions
show examples
people
 watch
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
football,
box
Wrong verb form
boxing
show examples
 and other
sports
. For some
people
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 play just
relaxing
Correct article usage
a relaxing
show examples
role
, for others play general
buisness
Correct your spelling
business
 in life. For
others
Add a comma
,others
show examples
 it is a hope for
change
 a health. I believe any
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 activity play a main
role
 in
social
Replace the word
society
show examples
.
Submitted by eerooxa on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social fabric
  • fostering
  • community spirit
  • health and wellness
  • national pride
  • leisure activity
  • entertainment
  • unwind
  • economic impact
  • generating jobs
  • boosting tourism
  • stimulating local economies
  • negative aspects
  • risk of injuries
  • pressure on young athletes
  • doping
  • corruption
  • essential societal component
  • responsible management
  • promoting
  • significant
  • merely
  • contributing
  • progress
  • acknowledging
  • value
  • emphasizing
  • balance
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