Some people think that the most important function of music is to help people relax. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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According to
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some, the most significant role of
music
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is to contribute to the relaxation of individuals.
Although
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there is no denying that
music
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creates a pleasant ambience for one to unwind, it
also
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serves as a source of income.
Music
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is another form of art that takes humans into an absolutely different world. It stands out for its ability to enable people to experience exciting emotions they may possibly lack in their regular lives. To be specific, constant exposure to
music
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fills people with emotions
such
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as happiness and motivation, a hallmark that draws a lot of appreciation. These abstract feelings help them stay away from the stresses of daily living, meaning they enhance the
overall
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mental state of listeners by positively impacting anxiety and depression,
consequently
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offering them chances to relax. Not only does it assist its lovers in terms of spiritual prospects, but it
also
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provides an opportunity to make money. It is obvious that
music
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producers are one of the highest-paying jobs in the world. Put simply, composers produce texts and sell them to artists, who transform them into viral hits that create a huge amount of cash flow.
This
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leads to an improved lifestyle for
music
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creators, helping them overcome financial challenges.
For example
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, famous songwriter and singer Ed Sheeran struggled with money before establishing a song called Perfect, which made him a millionaire. In conclusion, I believe that the most substantial function of
music
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is not only a way to unplug and refresh but
also
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a path to financial freedom.
Submitted by shaxzodeshniyozov002 on

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task response
The essay provides a well-structured response to the prompt. It acknowledges the role of music in relaxation while also discussing its financial aspect. The ideas are well-developed and supported with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows good coherence and cohesion. There is a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are well supported throughout the essay. However, some transitions between ideas could be more seamless to further enhance coherence.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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