Some people think that the most important function of music is to help people relax. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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According to

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some, the most significant role of

music

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is to contribute to the relaxation of individuals.

Although

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there is no denying that

music

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creates a pleasant ambience for one to unwind, it

also

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serves as a source of income.

Music

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is another form of art that takes humans into an absolutely different world. It stands out for its ability to enable people to experience exciting emotions they may possibly lack in their regular lives. To be specific, constant exposure to

music

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fills people with emotions

such

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as happiness and motivation, a hallmark that draws a lot of appreciation. These abstract feelings help them stay away from the stresses of daily living, meaning they enhance the

overall

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mental state of listeners by positively impacting anxiety and depression,

consequently

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offering them chances to relax. Not only does it assist its lovers in terms of spiritual prospects, but it

also

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provides an opportunity to make money. It is obvious that

music

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producers are one of the highest-paying jobs in the world. Put simply, composers produce texts and sell them to artists, who transform them into viral hits that create a huge amount of cash flow.

This

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leads to an improved lifestyle for

music

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creators, helping them overcome financial challenges.

For example

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, famous songwriter and singer Ed Sheeran struggled with money before establishing a song called Perfect, which made him a millionaire. In conclusion, I believe that the most substantial function of

music

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is not only a way to unplug and refresh but

also

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a path to financial freedom.

shaxzodeshniyozov002Wed Sep 06 2023

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task response

The essay provides a well-structured response to the prompt. It acknowledges the role of music in relaxation while also discussing its financial aspect. The ideas are well-developed and supported with relevant examples.

coherence cohesion

The essay shows good coherence and cohesion. There is a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are well supported throughout the essay. However, some transitions between ideas could be more seamless to further enhance coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Some people think that the most important function of music is to help people relax. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

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