Some people think that the most important function of music is to help people relax. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
According to
some, the most significant role of music
is to contribute to the relaxation of individuals. Although
there is no denying that music
creates a pleasant ambience for one to unwind, it also
serves as a source of income.
Music
is another form of art that takes humans into an absolutely different world. It stands out for its ability to enable people to experience exciting emotions they may possibly lack in their regular lives. To be specific, constant exposure to music
fills people with emotions such
as happiness and motivation, a hallmark that draws a lot of appreciation. These abstract feelings help them stay away from the stresses of daily living, meaning they enhance the overall
mental state of listeners by positively impacting anxiety and depression, consequently
offering them chances to relax.
Not only does it assist its lovers in terms of spiritual prospects, but it also
provides an opportunity to make money. It is obvious that music
producers are one of the highest-paying jobs in the world. Put simply, composers produce texts and sell them to artists, who transform them into viral hits that create a huge amount of cash flow. This
leads to an improved lifestyle for music
creators, helping them overcome financial challenges. For example
, famous songwriter and singer Ed Sheeran struggled with money before establishing a song called Perfect, which made him a millionaire.
In conclusion, I believe that the most substantial function of music
is not only a way to unplug and refresh but also
a path to financial freedom.Submitted by shaxzodeshniyozov002 on
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task response
The essay provides a well-structured response to the prompt. It acknowledges the role of music in relaxation while also discussing its financial aspect. The ideas are well-developed and supported with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows good coherence and cohesion. There is a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are well supported throughout the essay. However, some transitions between ideas could be more seamless to further enhance coherence.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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