IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that libraries are a waste of resources and money so computers should replace them. However, others do not agree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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It is often argued that computers should replace
libraries
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 as it is regarded as not required in our digital age.
While
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 some
people
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 argue that they need a physical learning place, others claim that it is not necessary. In my opinion, I believe that it is mandatory to have
libraries
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 because they provide reliable sources of information and employment opportunities to
people
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and my opinion in detail. On the one hand, I believe that
such
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 places offer sources to read that are verified to rely on
instead
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 of amateur publications.
That is
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 to say that the authors of those books available in enclosures are verified for authenticity
,
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apply
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 and keep it available for
people
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 who do not have
access
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 to personal laptops.
For example
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, a recent study found that an average of 60% of students depend on public
libraries
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 to enhance their knowledge as they do not have
access
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 to machines.
Furthermore
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, I would say that
such
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 places offer job opportunities to civilians like librarians and attendars are contributing positively to the community.
On the other hand
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, desktops and laptops provide instant
access
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 to the vast library of books.
In other words
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,
people
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 have instant
access
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 to various titles with just a few clicks from their smart devices.
Moreover
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, they can read anywhere regardless of the place which makes reading a more convenient activity for them.
For instance
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, kindles are one of the smart devices dedicated just to reading by granting
access
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 to vast resources.
As a result
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, individuals do not have the need to visit
libraries
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 for physical books. In conclusion ,
although
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 machines provide quick
access
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 to learning resources, I believe that public
libraries
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 are definitely required considering the benefits of accessing reliable knowledge articles and satisfying job needs for the public.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that an introduction and a conclusion are both clearly presented within the essay. The missing conclusion detracts from the logical structure and coherence of your writing.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more in-depth analysis and relevant, detailed examples. While you have provided examples, they could be more specific to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Your points sometimes lack clear transitions and connections, making the essay feel less cohesive. Use linking words and phrases effectively to improve the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Focus on providing a fully developed response to all parts of the task. While your essay addresses the main points, it could benefit from more balanced discussions and deeper insights into each argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • repository
  • cultural hub
  • community engagement
  • digital divide
  • inequality
  • sustainable
  • affordability
  • technological advancement
  • information retrieval
  • hybrid resources
  • social interaction
  • evolution of libraries
  • complementary
  • access to information
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