In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard on their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

There is no doubt that having some
leisure
time
during studying reenergizes the brain to continue working efficiently.
However
,
students
in some countries are under extreme burden to
study
hard and
therefore
, they have minimal
leisure
time
. The possible reasons for
this
trend
as well as
suggested solutions will be discussed in detail. One possible reason for
students
to face a lot of
pressure
to work hard on their education with no
time
off would be the high cost of education.
For instance
, expensive courses put a financial burden on families and
students
which forces the
students
to try hard to complete these courses successfully and quickly.
As a result
, these
students
ignore the need for some spare
time
and focus on their
study
work. Another possible reason would be the amount of
study
materials which is becoming extensive for a short semester.
Consequently
,
this
strain leaves no choice for
students
except to
study
as hard as possible to be able to finish
this
material on
time
.
Thus
, it is obvious that these
students
have no
time
left to have some
leisure
activities.
However
, some solutions could be suggested to help solve
this
problem. One possible solution would be reducing the cost of educational courses in these countries by government funding. By doing
this
, both the
students
and their families would have less financial
pressure
and
therefore
the
students
could be less stressed during their studies which might enable them to have some free
time
. Another solution would be
study
groups, If
students
study
in groups,
then
each one of the group members could summarize part of the curriculum and share it with the rest of the group.
This
would save a lot of
time
for all of the
students
in the group and as a ,result the amount of
pressure
would be reduced. These suggestions could help the
students
to have some
leisure
time
which is important for them to stay focused. In conclusion, there are many reasons that put the
students
in some countries under stress and
pressure
to
study
hard and leave them no
time
for
leisure
activities,
however
, the above-suggested solutions could tackle
this
problem and allow the
students
to have some
study
free
time
which is essential for them to recharge their energy.
Submitted by keramatparia on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
The main points are well supported with relevant examples and explanations. Good use of cohesive devices throughout the essay.
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Linking words for giving examples:

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  • such as
  • namely
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  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • high expectations
  • academic success
  • future success
  • competitive nature
  • modern education systems
  • top grades
  • prestigious universities
  • high-paying jobs
  • rise of technology
  • social media platforms
  • physical activities
  • relaxation
  • extracurricular demands
  • multiple responsibilities
  • economic factors
  • lower-income families
  • part-time jobs
  • academic pressures
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