The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane
Today,
people
have more
money
than in the past because our world has improved economically.
However
, many folks don't know how to handle
money
well.
This
is something
parents
and
teachers
should teach
kids
when they're young. Managing
money
means being good at things like saving, investing, and spending wisely. These days,
people
often spend more
money
than they actually make, which can make them run out of
money
. Being good with
money
means not just saving it but
also
making smart choices about how to use it.
For example
, owning an apartment and renting it out can bring in extra cash. It's important for young
people
to learn about
money
because that's when they start making their own spending decisions.
Parents
and
teachers
can help by showing
kids
how to be smart with
money
.
Parents
can take their
kids
shopping and teach them how to buy things for less
money
. They can
also
show
kids
how to keep track of what they spend and earn in a budget.
Teachers
can
also
teach
kids
some basic
money
skills in school. Learning about economics,
for example
, is now considered important in schools. In summary, even though our world is richer today, many
people
still have
money
problems because they don't know how to handle it. That's why
parents
and
teachers
should start teaching
kids
about
money
early in life.
Submitted by despinaiapona on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, for example".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, money, parents, teachers, kids with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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