The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane

#process #sugar #cane

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Today,

people

have more

money

than in the past because our world has improved economically.

However

, many folks don't know how to handle

money

well.

This

is something

parents

and

teachers

should teach

kids

when they're young. Managing

money

means being good at things like saving, investing, and spending wisely. These days,

people

often spend more

money

than they actually make, which can make them run out of

money

. Being good with

money

means not just saving it but

also

making smart choices about how to use it.

For example

, owning an apartment and renting it out can bring in extra cash. It's important for young

people

to learn about

money

because that's when they start making their own spending decisions.

Parents

and

teachers

can help by showing

kids

how to be smart with

money

Parents

can take their

kids

shopping and teach them how to buy things for less

money

. They can

also

show

kids

how to keep track of what they spend and earn in a budget.

Teachers

can

also

teach

kids

some basic

money

skills in school. Learning about economics,

for example

, is now considered important in schools. In summary, even though our world is richer today, many

people

still have

money

problems because they don't know how to handle it. That's why

parents

and

teachers

should start teaching

kids

about

money

early in life.

Submitted by despinaiapona on Wed Sep 06 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, for example".

▼

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words people, money, parents, teachers, kids with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

228 words

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better, alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.