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Band 3

The pie charts below illustrate degrees granted in different sectors at the National University in the 1990, 2000, and 2010.

The pie charts below illustrate degrees granted in different sectors at the National University in the 1990, 2000, and 2010.
#degrees #sectors #university
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The three pie charts demonstrate degrees granted in several fields at the National University in
years
Correct article usage
the years
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 1990,2000,2010. These three charts show that
computer
Use synonyms
science
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 is significantly primary in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
comparison with Law.
Begining
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Beginning
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 from 1990 and until 2010 the spreading of
computer
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science
Use synonyms
 was becoming more and more,to the contrary the
Replace the word
appeal
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appealing
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appeal
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 of law was getting less and less.
Computer
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science
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have
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has
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 had the most outstanding results ever: 30% in 1990,40% in 2000, 45% in 2010,meanwhile,law has quite low indicators with 15% in 1990,10% in 2000,15% in 2010.What about
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 ones?
Medicine
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 and
Buisness
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business
 have always had practically the same amount of degrees granted. IN 1990
medicine
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possesses
Wrong verb form
possessed
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 25%
whereas
Linking Words
Buisness
Correct your spelling
business
overtakes
Wrong verb form
overtook
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 it by 30% and
then
Linking Words
 business fell behind with a difference of 10%.Afterwards,
Medicine
Use synonyms
 won with insignificantly 10%. It is quite discernible that
Computer
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science
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 and
Medicine
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 are
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 attractive options for
granting
Change the form of the verb
granted
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.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words computer, science, medicine with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • illustrate
  • degrees
  • granted
  • sectors
  • National University
  • 1990
  • 2000
  • 2010
  • pie charts
  • introduction
  • overview
  • compare
  • significant
  • changes
  • notable
  • shifts
  • trends
  • summarize
  • main
  • depicted
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