IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Many feed that going to the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think that there are more effective methods. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

#gym #methods
Nowday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
, as much as people focus
theirself
Correct your spelling
their self
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
to make
Change preposition
on making
show examples
fitness
 shapes.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of people believe the best method is going to the
gym
. On the
otherside
Correct your spelling
other hand
, some think that
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 many different ways
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 better
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 staying fit. The writer of
this
 essay strongly agrees with
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 statement. The
gym
 process
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 sure
build
Fix the infinitive
to build
show examples
 a
fitness
body
. Signing a membership of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gym
 may give you the motivation to continue the
stagegy
Correct your spelling
strategy
 to have a
well-build
Correct your spelling
well-built
show examples
body
.
Besides
,
group
Correct article usage
a group
show examples
 of professional give you advice, which
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 you practice in order to fit your
body
.
Moreover
,
enjoing
Correct your spelling
enjoying
 the
gym
 work
to help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 you avoid risks of danger during
process
Add an article
the process
show examples
 about physical
due to
experience
Correct article usage
the experience
show examples
 of
guide
Correct article usage
a guide
show examples
.
On the other hand
, having a workout at home has many benefits. Making a plan for yourself
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
 your action in workout. You can watch online videos which share tips about healthy
diet
Fix the agreement mistake
diets
show examples
 or exercises to decrease fat
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 each part
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 your
body
.
Besides
, there are
also
 many
professions
Replace the word
professionals
show examples
 in the
gym
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
 channels on
youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
show examples
 perfect plans for you to build a beautiful
body
 without cost. In my opinion, the methods which build a
fitness
body
 at home, are only simple exercise or stay balanced diet. It does not spend much money but it can not get a perfect result. Enroling a monthly or yearly membership of the
gym
 which necessary cost you can enjoy
unlimited
Correct article usage
an unlimited
show examples
 workout plan and modern equipment support level up building a
fitness
body
.
To conclude
, the
gym
 is a better choice for your building
fitness
body
.
Benefits
Correct article usage
The benefits
show examples
 and
conviniences
Correct your spelling
conveniences
convenience
 of it
demonstrated
Add a missing verb
are demonstrated
show examples
 above.
Submitted by zky1705202 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical well-being
  • prime option
  • structured exercise routines
  • professional equipment
  • fostering an environment
  • motivation and discipline
  • counter-argument
  • outdoor activities
  • home workouts
  • cost-effectiveness
  • social and emotional satisfaction
  • team sports
  • hybrid approach
  • holistic approach
  • comprehensive benefits
What to do next:
Look at other essays: