IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The two pie charts compare the different sources on which children charity in the USA had spend and received money in the year 2016.

The two pie charts compare the different sources on which children charity in the USA had spend and received money in the year 2016.
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The pie chart illustrates the details of the US children's charity revenue and expenditure in the period of 2016.
Overall
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, the two pie charts show program services spent more money from credit Sources. Looking at the first chart Donated food accounted for the highest percentage of other incomes. community contribution received at 10. 4%.
In addition
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, followed by program credit at 2.87%.
However
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, the rest of the three sources
such
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 as investment income, government grants and other income at 0.2%,0.2%,0.4% respectively. So the final total earning for charity was 53,561,580 in 2016. Coming to the expenditures, most of the amount was spent on the program services at 95.8%. Exhausted some savings to fundraising at 2.6%.1.
Finally
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, the least amount was given for management and general at 1.67 it has been covered with a total of 53,224,896 at the year's end.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the ninth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the tenth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • charitable organization
  • non-profit sector
  • financial allocation
  • philanthropy
  • government subsidies
  • individual contributors
  • fundraising activities
  • expenditure breakdown
  • financial transparency
  • budgetary constraints
  • donor base
  • revenue streams
  • fiscal responsibility
  • overheads
  • sustainability
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