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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation
Some societies in today’s world consist of a relatively considerable number of young adults compared with the number of older
people
. From my standpoint, the upsides of
this
 exceed its downsides.
This
 is because young individuals can more work and come up with new ideas to develop than older
people
. Aside from these benefits, young
people
 need fundamental needs
such
 as a lot of schools and jobs. The main advantage of
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increasing the proportion of young adults is labour. As the population in somewhere is getting older, investors become unwilling to invest in these countries because older
people
 need more attention than young
people
 in some areas. A good example of
this
 is health because older
people
 mostly have some medical and mental issues
such
 as heart attack and diabetes
as well as
 decreasing cognitive abilities.
Therefore
, the number of young adults plays a crucial role in work-power.
In addition
, young
people
 have linked new ideas and cutting-edge technologies because their cognitive abilities are suitable for working or creating, especially, in some contexts
such
 as creating new solutions or coming up with ideas. To exemplify, companies in developed countries always prefer to work with foreign
people
 since they do not find a creative young person.
On the other hand
, young
people
 need basic needs
such
 as school or jobs because individuals just start their life during the adult period. Before working, they have to go to school and learn something and they
then
 can start their occupations.
However
, creating new schools or public facilities for young
people
 can be difficult because the government must allocate a lot of money to meet these needs from the budget of governments, and they have to predict future periods.
Otherwise
, they can lose the opportunity to develop because making a mistake
while
 planning causes illiterate young
people
.
To conclude
, I consider the benefits of
this
 situation outweigh its drawbacks because of the aforementioned reasons.
Submitted by eerkare on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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