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Band 4.5

Many young people presently know more about international celebrities than famous people from their history. What are the causes? Give solutions to increase awareness of impactful people in history.

#people #celebrities #history #awareness #impactful
Nowadays, most population use social websites and
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
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enormous
Correct article usage
an enormous
show examples
time
 there. Users follow famous stars,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
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 they often envy them which can lead to their
life
 dissatisfaction. It's interesting to note, that
people
 like to know everything about celebrities, including what they eat, how they look, with whom they live, where they go and many other routing details.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, they are not keen on some outstanding persons from
history
 like writers, singers, kings,
people
 who impacted the
history
 of the country significantly, etc. Why does it like that? In my personal opinion, humans, especially
young
Correct article usage
the young
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, have become addicted to the internet online
time
 spedding.
For example
, before technological devices came into our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, we used to spend
time
 reading books, watching classical films, and going to the cinema or a theatre.
Furthermore
,
people
 met each other much more frequently than now, to discuss and share information about their famous writers, film-makers,
politicians
Correct word choice
and politicians
show examples
 who played a vital role in the government.
As a result
, humans were involved in real
life
 with real
people
 in offline settings.
Moreover
, they gave knowledge and enthusiasm about the known
people
 to each other at that
time
. Now, with the era of the internet, most of us sit online and watch somebody's
life
 unconsciously, just because it has become a big part of our lives. It seems we don't want to think, we want to watch.
However
, some modern celebrities have tried to attract as many followers as they can, because they can a good money on it
due to
 ads in the social apps.
On the other hand
, at the present
time
, young
people
 don't study some subjects at school like the
history
 of their country or the
history
 of literature. Pupils might even not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be aware of what famous
people
 lived in the past and how they impacted
life
. 
To sum up
,
Submitted by udmitrienko on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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