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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many young people presently know more about international celebrities than famous people from their history. What are the causes? Give solutions to increase awareness of impactful people in history.

#people #celebrities #history #awareness #impactful
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Nowadays, most population use social websites and
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
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enormous
Correct article usage
an enormous
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time
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 there. Users follow famous stars,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
Linking Words
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
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 they often envy them which can lead to their
life
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 dissatisfaction. It's interesting to note, that
people
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 like to know everything about celebrities, including what they eat, how they look, with whom they live, where they go and many other routing details.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, they are not keen on some outstanding persons from
history
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 like writers, singers, kings,
people
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 who impacted the
history
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 of the country significantly, etc. Why does it like that? In my personal opinion, humans, especially
young
Correct article usage
the young
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, have become addicted to the internet online
time
Use synonyms
 spedding.
For example
Linking Words
, before technological devices came into our
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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, we used to spend
time
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 reading books, watching classical films, and going to the cinema or a theatre.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 met each other much more frequently than now, to discuss and share information about their famous writers, film-makers,
politicians
Correct word choice
and politicians
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 who played a vital role in the government.
As a result
Linking Words
, humans were involved in real
life
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 with real
people
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 in offline settings.
Moreover
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, they gave knowledge and enthusiasm about the known
people
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 to each other at that
time
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. Now, with the era of the internet, most of us sit online and watch somebody's
life
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 unconsciously, just because it has become a big part of our lives. It seems we don't want to think, we want to watch.
However
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, some modern celebrities have tried to attract as many followers as they can, because they can a good money on it
due to
Linking Words
 ads in the social apps.
On the other hand
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, at the present
time
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, young
people
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 don't study some subjects at school like the
history
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 of their country or the
history
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 of literature. Pupils might even not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be aware of what famous
people
Use synonyms
 lived in the past and how they impacted
life
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. 
To sum up
Linking Words
,
Submitted by udmitrienko on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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