Some people believe that time spent on television and computer games can valuable for children. Other believe this has negative impact on a child. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #television #computer #games #children #impact #child

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Some think that time spent on

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and

computer

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games

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could be beneficial for

children

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while

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others think it could be detrimental.

Although

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children

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would be able to gain more knowledge about different topics, I believe that other activities

such

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as playing outdoor

games

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would be more beneficial for the child's

overall

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health. On the one hand, they would be able to enhance their intellect about multiple topics with the help of television and

computer

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games

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In other words

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, there are multiple

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shows which can help foster

children

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's cognitive development .

For instance

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, Japanese people allow their offspring to watch television for at least one hour a day, and

as a result

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, Japan has the highest number of scientists in the world.

However

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, in my opinion, knowledge related to these topics can be gained through other sources.

On the other hand

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, playing outdoors would have a positive impact on a child's

overall

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well-being.

This

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is because if a child sits in front of the

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and

computer

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for longer hours, it might create postural and other health issues.

For example

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, it has been observed that

children

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who play

computer

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games

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and watch television for long hours have the highest risk of back-bone-related diseases at an earlier age.

Therefore

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, I opine that

children

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these activities should be avoided for a healthier life. In conclusion, some believe that time spent on

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and

computer

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-based

games

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could have a positive impact on young people,

while

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others opine that it could be detrimental. Even though the young generation could increase their knowledge about numerous areas, I opine that they could face multiple health-related issues.

Submitted by KaranAwal15 on Wed Sep 06 2023

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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