IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think governments should spend money looking for life on other planets, while others believe that there are many unsolved problems on Earth. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe governments should spend large amounts of money on searching for life on other planets,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that the urgent
problems
Use synonyms
 on Earth must come first. I agree that solving
Earth’s
Use synonyms
problems
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 should be the main priority. On the one hand, Earth faces several urgent
problems
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 that directly affect human life today.The most serious one is global warming. Rising temperatures cause drought,
water
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 shortages, and damage to natural ecosystems. They
also
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 worsen air quality, which increases heart and lung diseases.
According to
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 the WHO, air pollution leads to millions of early deaths every year. Extreme heat
also
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 reduces access to clean
water
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.
For example
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, recent droughts in East Africa have affected more than 20 million
people
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. Unpredictable weather harms food production as well. Lower crop yields may cause food shortages in many regions. These
problems
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 show that global warming needs immediate action.
On the other hand
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, space research
also
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 brings valuable scientific benefits.Studying other planets helps scientists understand
Earth’s
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 climate more clearly. Research on Mars,
for instance
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, has revealed frozen
water
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, which shows how planetary environments change over time. These studies may
also
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 help scientists predict long-term risks to Earth.
However
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, these discoveries do not solve today’s urgent issues. Climate change,
water
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 scarcity and food insecurity already affect millions of
people
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.
Therefore
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, spending too much money on space exploration may slow progress on
Earth’s
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 most critical needs. In conclusion,
Earth’s
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 immediate
problems
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 must come first because they affect
people
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 right now. Space research is useful, but governments should prioritise solving the major challenges on our own planet.

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task response
Show more balance by weighing each side with more examples.
coherence
Improve flow by using more linking words to connect sentences.
grammar
Watch small grammar issues, and fix spaces after periods to raise accuracy.
structure
Keep ideas in a clear order: intro, compare, then conclude.
style
Use shorter sentences for easy reading and lower risk of mistakes.
content
Clear stance in intro and conclusion
content
Good real examples from WHO and droughts
structure
Two views are shown with 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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