Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

There is no denying the fact that these days
kids
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
their mobile for the entire day.
This
essay will discuss
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
reasones
Correct your spelling
reasons
behind
this
trend and if there
benefits
Add a missing verb
are benefits
show examples
or not .
To begin
with, there are many reasons that
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
kids
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
hours on the phone.
Firstly
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
no serious rules from the parents or watch their
kids
.
In other words
, they can use their phones when they want, in their bedrooms or outside the house, they can watch anything.
In addition
, the parents do not
spending
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
time with them,
because
Correct word choice
and because
show examples
of that the
kids
prefer to play games on their
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
.
For example
,
Correct word choice
because the
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
cause of watching movies in the bedroom with their own phones, they did not find
the
Change the word
their
show examples
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
in the living room. In terms of my opinion, there is no
Correct your spelling
positive
possitive
Correct your spelling
positive
side
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
using the mobile almost entire the day The main
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
that the
kids
do not have the knowledge between the wrong and correct
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
. It is
also
possible to say that may they read something that can be dangerous for them or for anyone, like mixing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food, playing with sharp gear or eating
poison
Replace the word
poisoned
show examples
plants.
Moreover
,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
this
age
Add a comma
,age
show examples
they ought to play
activitie
Correct your spelling
activity
games or
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
some skills that benefit them in the future.
For instance
, football, hiking or camping, that will make them more. In conclusion, there are many cases that
made
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children these days
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
more time on their smartphones. It is
also
true
that is
Unsuitable for
kids
’ health.
Submitted by firasalfadda2 on

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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