Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

There is no denying the fact that these days

kids

using

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

their mobile for the entire day.

This

essay will discuss

what

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

the

reasones

Correct your spelling

reasons

behind

this

trend and if there

benefits

Add a missing verb

are benefits

show examples

or not .

To begin

with, there are many reasons that

making

Wrong verb form

make

show examples

kids

spending

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

hours on the phone.

Firstly

, there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

no serious rules from the parents or watch their

kids

In other words

, they can use their phones when they want, in their bedrooms or outside the house, they can watch anything.

In addition

, the parents do not

spending

Change the verb form

spend

show examples

time with them,

because

Correct word choice

and because

show examples

of that the

kids

prefer to play games on their

advices

Change the wording

advice

pieces of advice

bits of advice

show examples

For example

Correct word choice

because the

show examples

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

cause of watching movies in the bedroom with their own phones, they did not find

the

Change the word

their

show examples

parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

show examples

in the living room. In terms of my opinion, there is no

Correct your spelling

positive

possitive

Correct your spelling

positive

side

Change preposition

show examples

using the mobile almost entire the day The main

reasons

Fix the agreement mistake

reason

show examples

that the

kids

do not have the knowledge between the wrong and correct

informations

Change the wording

information

pieces of information

show examples

. It is

also

possible to say that may they read something that can be dangerous for them or for anyone, like mixing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

food, playing with sharp gear or eating

poison

Replace the word

poisoned

show examples

plants.

Moreover

Change preposition

show examples

this

age

Add a comma

,age

show examples

they ought to play

activitie

Correct your spelling

activity

games or

learning

Wrong verb form

learn

show examples

some skills that benefit them in the future.

For instance

, football, hiking or camping, that will make them more. In conclusion, there are many cases that

made

Wrong verb form

make

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children these days

spending

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

more time on their smartphones. It is

also

true

that is

Unsuitable for

kids

’ health.

Submitted by firasalfadda2 on Thu Sep 07 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on a social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case?Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

TODAY MANY PEOPLE WORK UNTIL A LATE AGE. DO ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH DISADVANTAGES. GIVE REASONS.