IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

A glance at the given maps reveal the changes of a bookstore within the 23 years period.

#glance #maps #changes #bookstore #years #period
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A glance at the given maps
reveal
Change the verb form
reveals
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 the changes of a bookstore within the
23 years
Correct your spelling
23-year
 period.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that two of the maps have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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change
Replace the word
changed
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 by replacing places and adding
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
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now
Rephrase
apply
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. In 2000, the bookstore had several types of book genres,
such
Linking Words
 as
fiction
Use synonyms
, non-
fiction
Use synonyms
, travel, art, hobbies, cookery and new books,
however
Linking Words
 the next 23 years the store witnessed
a dramatic changes
Correct the article-noun agreement
dramatic changes
a dramatic change
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, more noticeable is that cafe construction and replacement of places.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Travel, New books and service desk and Entrance are remained
at
Change preposition
on
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 the left side of the bookstore.
Also
Linking Words
,
Fiction
Use synonyms
 shelves decreased and
divided
Add a missing verb
were divided
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by
Change preposition
into
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 four sections
like
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apply
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Art, Hobbies, Cookery and
Fiction
Use synonyms
, which
are
Wrong verb form
were
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 redeveloped in size.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
Fiction
Use synonyms
 shelf on the right side of the bookshop was demolished and replaced by Non-
fiction
Use synonyms
 genres. Eventually, the tables are put in the middle of the shop which is opposite
to
Change preposition
apply
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the cafe.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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