IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the different types of accommodations chosen by the British when they were on holidays in 2013.

The chart below shows the different types of accommodations chosen by the British when they were on holidays in 2013.
#accommodations #british #holidays
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This
Linking Words
 chart shows the British's preference
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
holiday accommodation in 2010. Across the UK, Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
choose
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
Use synonyms
hotel
Add an article
a hotel
show examples
 when they
go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 on
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
holiday in 2010. And
secondly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 prefer Self-catering, except
Northern
Change preposition
in Northern
show examples
Ireland
Use synonyms
. Northern
Ireland
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
usully
Correct your spelling
usually
 choose Caravan
secondly
Linking Words
. Interestingly, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Hotel
Use synonyms
 and Caravan in Northern
Ireland
Use synonyms
 is only almost 15% of
gaps
Correct article usage
the gaps
show examples
 between them.
This
Linking Words
 is a notable point compared to England's bar chart. England
people
Use synonyms
 chosen
Hotel
Use synonyms
 is over 50% and nearly 28% of
people
Use synonyms
 use Self-catering which means these figures are extremely skewed on 2
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
 of accommodation.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 Scotland and Wales
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a biased number
such
Linking Words
 as England's figure.
Overall
Linking Words
, surprisingly
over
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the UK,
people
Use synonyms
 prefer
Hotel
Use synonyms
 when vacation. But Northern
Ireland
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 try to choose different
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
, not sticking to only
Hotel
Use synonyms
.
And
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
People
Use synonyms
 tend
to do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not
want
Fix the infinitive
to want
show examples
 to stay in Camping and Caravan, except Northern
Ireland
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by amableraye17 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "secondly".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, hotel, ireland with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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