IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantage?

#technologies #children #time #trend
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I agree with
statement
Add an article
the statement
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 that new
technologies
Use synonyms
 have changed the
way
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
 spend their free
time
Use synonyms
, and I believe it is
a
Correct article usage
the
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advantages
Correct the article-noun agreement
advantage
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 of
this
Linking Words
 trend outweigh the minus of
this
Linking Words
 trend. First of all,
now
Rephrase
apply
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AI
technologies
Use synonyms
 changed
majority
Add an article
the majority
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 of
technologies
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. In my
view
Add a comma
,view
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 it is a great
way
Use synonyms
, and I see AI startups who develop
a projects
Correct the article-noun agreement
projects
a project
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, которые
change
Use synonyms
 education methods. I believe,
if
Correct word choice
that
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give
Wrong verb form
giving
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children
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
way
Add an article
a way
the way
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 to education
with
Change preposition
by
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 using their
technologies
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, it
is improve
Change the verb form
improves
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 their mindset.
For example
Linking Words
, in my country
children
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using
Wrong verb form
use
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a
Change the article
an
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 app where
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
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change
Use synonyms
a
Correct article usage
the
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 teacher or
change
Use synonyms
a
Correct article usage
the
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time
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
of
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lesson
Correct article usage
the lesson
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.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
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 of
children
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 watch a show in English, or play computer games in
english
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English
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. They
are spend
Change the verb form
spend
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time
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 in
a messengers
Correct the article-noun agreement
messengers
a messenger
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, but it
cheap
Correct your spelling
cheapens
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 their
time
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, and a lot of
children
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doing
Wrong verb form
do
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 their
hometask
Correct your spelling
homework
 with classmates in video
meet
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
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. Some
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technologies
Add a verb
aretechnologies
weretechnologies
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 cheap a
time
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. Of course, some
children
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 spend their
time
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in
Change preposition
on
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Tiktok
Correct your spelling
TikTok
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,
instagram
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Instagram
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 or other social networks. I see research, where written people who spend
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social network, have badly focus
for
Change preposition
on
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 work than other people who
does
Change the verb form
do
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 not watch social network. Short videos
changed
Wrong verb form
change
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mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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, and unfocused people
in
Change preposition
apply
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concentrate
work
Change preposition
on work
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. So I think,
technologies
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
change
Wrong verb form
have changed
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 our life
to
Change preposition
in
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great
Change the article
a great
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way
Use synonyms
.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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