Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to success in their career, while others argue that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #college #route #success #career #job #school

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It is considered by some people that

after

Change preposition

apply

show examples

finishing

school

is the right time to apply for

jobs

whereas

others argue that starting to build a career after studying at

university

or college is the better route for them. I would argue that it is better to go to college or

university

after

school

graduation. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand, most youths try to earn

money

as soon as possible. In

that

Add a comma

,that

show examples

they can be independent. Many young kids do not like to be

dependented

Correct your spelling

dependent

on their

parents

Change to a genitive case

parent's

parents'

show examples

money

moreover

Add a comma

,moreover

show examples

when those kids

gets

Change the verb form

get

show examples

a part-time

job

offers

Fix the agreement mistake

offer

show examples

, they apply for that

job

immediately rather

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

continuing their study. In

this

way, they get to learn important practical skills which will allow them to find a better

job

in future.

Furthermore

young

Correct article usage

a young

show examples

age youths will earn a good amount of

money

and buy their own house or car.

On the other hand

, I believe, it is the right option for

school

graduates to

continuing

Wrong verb form

continue

show examples

their

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

Firstly

, many

well-know

Correct your spelling

well-known

show examples

companies

requires

Change the verb form

require

show examples

high qualifications.

For example

, it will be quite

any

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

impossible to be

Change the article

show examples

doctor, engineer, teacher, and lawyer who just completed their

school

As a result

university

graduates have huge opportunities to get very

high profile

Add a hyphen

high-profile

show examples

jobs

Secondly

, finding

jobs

are

Change the verb form

show examples

much difficult as there are very high completion in the market so

university

graduated

Verb problem

apply

show examples

students are mostly preferred

job

candidates and

also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

they will get a high salary too. In conclusion, considering both views I continue to believe that

although

money

is much

important

Correct quantifier usage

more important

show examples

at the early stages

Change preposition

show examples

live

Replace the word

life

show examples

. Educated, skilled people

needed

Wrong verb form

need

show examples

to do something excellent for future nations because schooling

makes

Verb problem

gives

show examples

us more potential for

jobs

Submitted by PONKAJ DEY on Thu Sep 07 2023

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to success in their career, while others argue that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The nuclear family is well adapted to moving due to its size. Do you think children benefit in any way from moving? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and preparatory methods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people say that what individua;s do to protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.