Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to success in their career, while others argue that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is considered by some people that
after
Change preposition
apply
show examples
finishing
school
is the right time to apply for
jobs
,
whereas
others argue that starting to build a career after studying at
university
or college is the better route for them. I would argue that it is better to go to college or
university
after
school
graduation. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, most youths try to earn
money
as soon as possible. In
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
they can be independent. Many young kids do not like to be
dependented
Correct your spelling
dependent
on their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
money
,
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
when those kids
gets
Change the verb form
get
show examples
a part-time
job
offers
Fix the agreement mistake
offer
show examples
, they apply for that
job
immediately rather
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
continuing their study. In
this
way, they get to learn important practical skills which will allow them to find a better
job
in future.
Furthermore
at
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
age youths will earn a good amount of
money
and buy their own house or car.
On the other hand
, I believe, it is the right option for
school
graduates to
continuing
Wrong verb form
continue
show examples
their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
Firstly
, many
well-know
Correct your spelling
well-known
show examples
companies
requires
Change the verb form
require
show examples
high qualifications.
For example
, it will be quite
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
impossible to be
an
Change the article
a
show examples
doctor, engineer, teacher, and lawyer who just completed their
school
.
As a result
,
university
graduates have huge opportunities to get very
high profile
Add a hyphen
high-profile
show examples
jobs
.
Secondly
, finding
jobs
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
much difficult as there are very high completion in the market so
university
graduated
Verb problem
apply
show examples
students are mostly preferred
job
candidates and
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
they will get a high salary too. In conclusion, considering both views I continue to believe that
although
money
is much
important
Correct quantifier usage
more important
show examples
at the early stages
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
. Educated, skilled people
needed
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
to do something excellent for future nations because schooling
makes
Verb problem
gives
show examples
us more potential for
jobs
.
Submitted by PONKAJ DEY on

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