Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to success in their career, while others argue that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is considered by some people that

after

Change preposition

apply

show examples

finishing

school

Use synonyms

is the right time to apply for

jobs

Use synonyms

whereas

Linking Words

others argue that starting to build a career after studying at

university

Use synonyms

or college is the better route for them. I would argue that it is better to go to college or

university

Use synonyms

after

school

Use synonyms

graduation. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand, most youths try to earn

money

Use synonyms

as soon as possible. In

that

Add a comma

,that

show examples

they can be independent. Many young kids do not like to be

dependented

Correct your spelling

dependent

on their

parents

Change to a genitive case

parent's

parents'

show examples

money

Use synonyms

Linking Words

moreover

Add a comma

,moreover

show examples

when those kids

gets

Change the verb form

get

show examples

a part-time

job

Use synonyms

offers

Fix the agreement mistake

offer

show examples

, they apply for that

job

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immediately rather

Linking Words

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

continuing their study. In

this

Linking Words

way, they get to learn important practical skills which will allow them to find a better

job

Use synonyms

in future.

Furthermore

Linking Words

young

Correct article usage

a young

show examples

age youths will earn a good amount of

money

Use synonyms

and buy their own house or car.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I believe, it is the right option for

school

Use synonyms

graduates to

continuing

Wrong verb form

continue

show examples

their

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

Firstly

Linking Words

, many

well-know

Correct your spelling

well-known

show examples

companies

requires

Change the verb form

require

show examples

high qualifications.

For example

Linking Words

, it will be quite

any

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

impossible to be

Change the article

show examples

doctor, engineer, teacher, and lawyer who just completed their

school

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

university

Use synonyms

graduates have huge opportunities to get very

high profile

Add a hyphen

high-profile

show examples

jobs

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

, finding

jobs

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are

Change the verb form

show examples

much difficult as there are very high completion in the market so

university

Use synonyms

graduated

Verb problem

apply

show examples

students are mostly preferred

job

Use synonyms

candidates and

Linking Words

also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

they will get a high salary too. In conclusion, considering both views I continue to believe that

although

Linking Words

money

Use synonyms

is much

important

Correct quantifier usage

more important

show examples

at the early stages

Change preposition

show examples

live

Replace the word

life

show examples

. Educated, skilled people

needed

Wrong verb form

need

show examples

to do something excellent for future nations because schooling

makes

Verb problem

gives

show examples

us more potential for

jobs

Use synonyms

PONKAJ DEY

Sep 7, 2023

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to success in their career, while others argue that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Discipline is ever increasing probelm in modern schools. Some people think that discpline should be the responsibility of teachers, while others this that this is the role of parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinioon.

Teachers of young children at a primary school are considering making one significant change to better support their student's educational and social development. Which one of the following changes do you think is the most important for the teachers to make and why?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

Young people who commit serious crimes, such as a robbery or a biolent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Completing a university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.