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Band 5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives
There is no denying the fact that
some time
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 we must
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 a number of choices
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
show examples
 affect
on
Change preposition
apply
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our professional or
personal’s
Change noun form
personal
show examples
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
.
While
 it is a commonly held belief that it is crucial for people taking risks
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their job and personal
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
, there is
also
 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider
that is
 highly risks and it may cost you a lot.
To begin
 with, a number of the mistaken steps cannot
be solve
Change the verb form
be solved
show examples
 as much as we think and it will take
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
 time to put it in
right
Add an article
the right
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 way again.
In addition
, these mistakes will not just affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
you,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 may involve your friends or your family. Another point to consider, if you
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 not expect the results of your risky ideas, you will disappoint yourself. It is
also
 possible to say that you will lose your energy and you will be afraid to take any step in the future.
Moreover
, if you have been building
your self
Correct your spelling
yourself
show examples
 or raising your salary for
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
 time, it is potential to destroy it
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 one word.
For instance
,
last
 year, my father invested all his money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Mreestal
Correct article usage
the Mreestal
show examples
 Company , he thought he
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be rich after 5 years
although
 he lost one million, and he
know
Verb problem
was
show examples
 so
depressing
Replace the word
depressed
show examples
.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that everyone ought to be
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
save
Replace the word
safe
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 side and remember these
highly
Change the adverb
high
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risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
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 can be dangerous for
himself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 and for
these
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 who love
him
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Submitted by firasalfadda2 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: