•Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In
this
day and age, there are
increasing popularity to take Correct subject-verb agreement
is
part
in sports
. Some people
believe that it is necessary to evolve in sports
which are played in teams
, like soccer, rather than taking part
in individual sports
like swimming. From my personal perspective, both types of sports
have their own merits and people
should take part
in both sports
played in teams
and individual sports
.
On the one hand, there are a variety of reasons why some people
think that take
Wrong verb form
taking
part
in sports
played in teams
are
more beneficial. One reason for Correct subject-verb agreement
is
thí
opinion is that Correct your spelling
this
sports
which are played in teams
encourage people
to cooperate with others to play. Consequently
, playing team
sports
as
a way for them to enhance some essential Correct your spelling
is
skills
, such
as communications
Change the noun form
communication
skills
, sharpen
observation Verb problem
apply
skills
, and teamwork skills
, these skills
can help people
not only in playing sports
but also
for
their work and study which Change preposition
in
improve
those performance. Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
For instance
, playing football requires 7 to 15 players playing
together, it is important for them to communicate and cooperate with other players to defend and attack the competitor.
Change the verb form
to play
On the other hand
, there are a number of reasons why some people
think that taking part
in individual sports
has more advantages. Firstly
, people
who choose to play solo
sports
such
as swimming or tennis have the opportunity to develop independence. This
can be explained by the fact that those who play these sports
have no one to help them during the game, so they are forced to develop independent thinking and make their own decisions. Those who take part
in team
sports
, by contrast
, often receive support from their team
members, which could discourage them from developing these skills
. Another reason is that players in solo
sports
know that their success depends mostly on their effort, determination and concentration. Therefore
, these people
always make every possible effort to achieve their goals.
In conclusion, although
some people
say that we should choose to play solo
sports
such
as golf or tennis, others argue that people
participate in individual sports
. I believe that both solo
sports
and team
sports
have theirSubmitted by phongnguyenthanh630 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
structure
The essay should have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The conclusion in this case seems to be cut-off and does not fully summarise the main points or provide a clear opinion.
task response
The main points are presented but lack detailed development through specific examples or further explanation.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas logically flow from one to the next using appropriate cohesive devices.
task response
Provide specific examples to support your points, which will make the response more comprehensive and persuasive.
grammar
Repeated sentence structures are evident; work on varying sentence complexity and punctuation to enhance readability and demonstrate grammatical range.
grammar
Error with agreement ('There are increasing popularity to take part in sports' should be 'There is increasing popularity...'). Watch for these types of errors as they can detract from the overall quality of the response.
vocabulary
Review and use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and avoid redundancy (e.g., 'evolve' should be 'engage').