IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after graduating from high school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school
It is thought that pursuing higher education leads to a successful career ladder,
while
 others believe that getting a
job
 right after high school would be better.
This
 essay attempts to shed light on both perspectives before concluding that I am in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of the latter notion. On one hand, it is true that studying at a higher educational institution is one of the best ways to succeed.
Firstly
, university graduates tend to receive decent salaries.
This
 is because they have equipped themselves with basic knowledge related to their career, which helps them to easily tackle unexpected problems and increase work productivity.
Secondly
,
job
 seekers with a degree have higher chances to be selected into companies.
For instance
, several firms
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 have powerful impacts
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Vietnam’s business tend to hire
bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
 degree holders since they are trained in an academic environment for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality time.
On the other hand
, there are a host of compelling reasons as to why I am convinced that seeking
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an occupation after graduating is
also
 advantageous. The first reason is people will become more mature and independent. Having a well-earned
job
 gives youngsters opportunities to become financially stable,
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means that they can invest in themselves and help their family. Another reason is that they can be promoted easier.
While
 others are studying, the ones who enter the workforce right after
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
 are experiencing work realistically, they gain more experience and get more chances of promotions. In conclusion,
while
 it is irrefutable that higher education is the best way to be successful, I would contend that getting a
job
 right after high school would be beneficial.
Submitted by namle.ivce on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!