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Band 6

The grapgh below shows China's population by age group starting in 1960 and including forecast to 2050.

#grapgh #china #population #age #group #forecast
The provided graph illustrates how the population of China by
age
 changed between 1960 and 2020, with projections for the period from 2030 to 2050.
Overall
, what stands out from the graph is that
while
 the population of those aged 15-64 and over 65 increases, the opposite happens to that of those aged 0-14 over the given period.
To begin
 with, in 1960 the percentage of dwellers in the over-65
age
 bracket was the lowest, accounting for approximately 7 % of the total population. The proportion of people aged 0-14,
in contrast
, indicated the most considerable rate, at around 45%. The former has experienced steady growth, reaching around 15%,
whereas
 the latter has decreased significantly to almost one-third. When it comes to predictions, an increase of exactly 17.5% in the percentage of those 65 and over is estimated to happen until 2050, overtaking that of the 0-14
age
 group.
However
, projections indicate a
further
 decline in the that of the 0-14
age
 category. As regards the rates of people in the 15-64
age
 interval, there has been a surge to precisely 70% by 2020. To continue with predictions, it is forecast to fall to just above 52.5% by 2050.
Submitted by quluzadenurlan107 on

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task achievement
Consider introducing a brief overview in the introduction to highlight main trends or significant findings, which can provide a clearer immediate context for your analysis.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to further improve the flow of your essay. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your writing.
task achievement
Pay close attention to providing specific data points where applicable to support your analysis fully. While your essay contains good support, more precise figures could strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You organized the essay well, with a clear logical flow from introduction to body paragraphs and a conclusion. This structure is effective for the reader's understanding.
task achievement
You effectively described changes over time and made predictions based on the graph, which showed a thorough understanding of the task and attention to detail.
task achievement
Your usage of percentages to illustrate changes and predictions makes your arguments stronger and more precise. This is a good practice in writing about graphs or charts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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