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Band 6.5

Some people think that there should be some strict controls about noise. Others think that they could just make as much noise as they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #controls #noise
It is thought that
noise
 ought to be strictly controlled,
while
 others believe that they can generate
noise
 as much as they desire.
This
 essay attempts to shed light on both perspectives before concluding that I am in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of the former notion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, it is understandable why
people
 can make so much excessive
noise
.
Firstly
, creating
noise
 might chill
people
 up.
This
 is because some
people
 are attracted to intrusive sounds and generating those sounds can help them feel more relaxed,
thus
 leading to releasing pressure and anxiety.
Secondly
, traffic
noise
 is an unchangeable factor in modern city life.
Therefore
, there is no reason why we should control it.
For instance
, in crowded times in Ho Chi Minh
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
, since
people
 all use moving vehicles, the roads are full
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 transportation and
this
 creates extremely large
noise
.
On the other hand
, there are a host of compelling reasons as to why I am convinced that laws should be imposed in order to limit
noise
. The first reason is that
noise
 pollution has detrimental impacts. Passively listening to intrusive
noise
 leads to a deterioration in
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
 health,
such
 as high blood pressure, sleep disturbances and even our mental health. Another reason is that excessive sounds disrupt us.
For example
, working in an environment where there is loud
noise
 reduces the ability to focus, which results in worse concentration and work
performance's
Change noun form
performance
show examples
 efficiency.
To conclude
,
while
 it is irrefutable that
noise
 can be created as much as it can be, I would contend that strict laws should be implemented to deaden those problems of excessive sounds.
Submitted by namle.ivce on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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