IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Students should spend time working before beginning their university studies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #time #university #studies
There is a common view that young people should find
work
 between leaving school and starting
university
 for their own personal development. It is the opinion of
this
 writer that students will benefit from gaining employment before continuing with their academic studies at
university
. One of the most important reasons is to gain
work
experience
, which can provide graduates with a significant advantage when applying for a future career. Employers today are searching for candidates who stand out from the crowd, and by demonstrating a proven
work
 history, young people can show they already possess the relevant skills and
experience
 to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
suitable
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
. In an increasingly competitive job market, where most applicants already have
university
 qualifications, it is necessary to offer something else in order to attract the attention of potential employers. Another salient point is that young people can become financially independent by finding a job straight after school. Earning a salary means no longer relying on parents or family for financial support, plus they will understand the value of money by realising how long it takes to save for things they can not afford.
For instance
, a student employed in a restaurant may have to
work
many
Change preposition
for many
show examples
 months in order to purchase a new smartphone.
This
experience
 will
also
 benefit them in the future and ensure they appreciate earning a higher salary after graduating from
university
. To summarise, there are a number of advantages for students who choose to
work
 before starting
university
.
In particular
, having the opportunity to gain skills and
experience
 that could not be learnt in a place of education.
This
 can set them on the path to a brighter future.
Submitted by nguyenkhuyenhcmcs4k11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: