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Band 4.5

Today more and more people are visiting places where condition are difficult such as Sahara and the Atlantic.What are the benefits and disadvantages for the tourists.

#people #places #condition #sahara #atlantic #tourists
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Nowadays, the visitors of
places
Change preposition
to places
show examples
 with extreme
conditions
such
 as
Sahara
Correct article usage
the Sahara
show examples
 and
Correct article usage
the Athlantic
show examples
Athlantic
Correct your spelling
Atlantic
 are increasing. these
places
, there are some advantages for tourists
such
 as new experiences and there are some disadvantages
such
 as the price of these kinds of trips, which is extremely expensive.
Firstly
,
Atlantic
Correct article usage
the Atlantic
show examples
 and
Sahara
 are the tourist attractions that most individuals love to be
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 once in their life.
Firstly
, the extreme
conditions
 make them unique
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. Being in a desert with long and hot days and freezing nights can be a new
experiences
Correct the article-noun agreement
experience
show examples
. Observing stars in a
clean
Correct your spelling
clear
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 sky can be a dream for travellers.
Moreover
, visiting
Atlantic
Correct article usage
the Atlantic
show examples
 with polar bears, penguins, polar ice and aurora and living with eskimos can be unimaginable moments of every individual's life that people, who had the
conditions
 to be, should not miss.
On the other hand
, there are some drawbacks, which will be imposed
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future visitors.
For instance
, being in these locations requires some facilities and a
big
Correct word choice
large
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 amount of money. There are some limitations of being in
Correct article usage
the pole
show examples
pole
Capitalize word
Pole
show examples
 and
Sahara
such
 as weather and age groups.
For instance
, visiting
Sahara
Correct article usage
the Sahara
show examples
 in summer and
Athlantic
Correct article usage
the Athlantic
show examples
 in winter is approximately impossible.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, old people and children should not
be implement
Change the verb form
be implemented
show examples
 and brought because they cannot tolerate extreme
conditions
. In conclusion, there are some advantages and drawbacks for tourists who want to visit new
places
 and experience new things
such
 as
unbelieveable
Correct your spelling
unbelievable
sightseeings
Fix the agreement mistake
sightseeing
show examples
 as an advantage and high prices as a disadvantage. In my opinion, individuals, especially younger generations, should be in new
places
 and visit all of the world. Being in
Sahara
Correct article usage
the Sahara
show examples
ar
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 Atlantic not only can be an amazing trip
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 can broaden their horizons and increase their knowledge.
Submitted by shima.majidansari on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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