24.In recent years, there has been a rise in the popularity of second-hand clothing amongst the younger generation. Why is this happening? Do you think it’s a positive or negative development?

#years #rise #popularity #generation #it’s #development

It is true that there is an increasing trend of young

people

buying second-hand clothing in

precent-day

Correct your spelling

present-day

society. In

this

essay, I will explain the reasons behind

this

phenomenon, and I believe that it is a positive development. There are some reasons why young

people

prefer to buy old

clothes

today and perhaps the most obvious one is that they have a strong desire to copy their idols, despite they sometimes cannot afford the original price. When youngsters

still

Add a missing verb

are still

show examples

in their studies or just

begin

Wrong verb form

begun

show examples

to work, they usually lack money to purchase

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

luxury

item

Fix the agreement mistake

items

show examples

especially

clothes

that famous artists wear.

For example

, my niece Lily, who is 16, loves to buy second-hand clothing, enabling her to imitate her

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

star in an affordable way, and

this

ultimately results in an increased number of young ones buying second-hand clothing.

However

, I feel

this

is a positive trend. One reason is that it helps young

people

save money. If they buy second-hand

clothes

, the price of

clothes

may well be half of a new one, and

this

allows them to save an amount of money and spend on something more essential and is potentially absolutely beneficial. Another compelling reason is that the Internet provides a platform for individuals to sell their old

clothes

App

Add an article

An app

The app

show examples

called Xian Yu,

for instance

, which is a popular online platform for selling second-hand products in China, offers an easy way for the public to sell their non-use personal items. As

such

, it is much easier and more effective for

people

to buy second-hand things from others, which is why buying second-hand

clothes

has become so popular in today’s era. In conclusion, the reasons for

growing

Correct article usage

the growing

show examples

popularities

Replace the word

popularity

show examples

of buying second-hand

clothes

especially

Add the comma(s)

,especially

show examples

young generations are clear, and I believe it is a trend that benefits individuals.

Submitted by 15219169 on Fri Sep 08 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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24.In recent years, there has been a rise in the popularity of second-hand clothing amongst the younger generation. Why is this happening? Do you think it’s a positive or negative development?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In future it may be necessary for us to live on another planets. For this reason, some people believe that we should spend money now to reseach another planets. Such as mars, to what extend do you agree or disagree?

In the future it may be necessary for us to live on other planets. For this reason, some people believe that we should spend money now researching planets that could be a possible home, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that school children should be made to wear a uniform. Others feel that children should be free to choose their own clothes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, experience is more valued in the workplace than knowledge in many countries. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people are optimistic about the 21st century and expect scientists to make positive changes to the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with their optimism? What changes do you like to see in your new century?