Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everything matters is likely to result in a society of individual who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

People are divided about the issue
whether
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of whether
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giving
children
an
Remove the article
apply
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unbinding freedom is a positive action or
they
Correct word choice
whether they
show examples
should be restricted by parents, as
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
decisions may lead to
selfishness
Replace the word
selfish
show examples
results. I firmly believe that
children
must stand on their choices and
this
is possible
,
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apply
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if parents give them enough
spaces
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space
show examples
.
To begin
with, the opponents of the first notion may argue that, nowadays,
Due to
the complexity of
today
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today's
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world, it has become a pre-requirement for infants to be more independent.
On the other hand
, they claim
children
from
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
early age must be nurtured in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
way that learn to handle their calamities individually and that would
achievable
Add a missing verb
be achievable
show examples
through
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by
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giving them enough liberty in order to decide
for
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apply
show examples
their path.
this
Capitalize word
This
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permission,
furthermore
, can foster generation with a significant skill in analytical thinking.
For instance
, the benefit of individual choices can be revealed when
pre-school
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preschool
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children
have to decide what
color
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colour
show examples
shirt to wear. In
this
situation, they should evaluate opposite things and that would lead them to think with detail and opt meticulously in future.
On the other hand
, the proponents may believe that not only
this
attitude toward
children
can
affects
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affect
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them adversely, but
also
, may arise some negative consequences for the whole society.
For instance
, when a child
learn
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learns
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to live based on their choices they can not adapt
with
Change preposition
to
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other contrary opinions or decisions.
Moreover
, in
this
case
Add a comma
,case
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they may think that all the things in the world should be planned based on their desire.
Therefore
, they may experience difficulty in order to
tune
Verb problem
apply
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with novel environment and people. To add, it might affect their future career path too. As they have grown with their own rules they are more likely to rebel against the
regulation
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regulations
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that have been legislated for some
restriction
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restrictions
show examples
.
To sum up
, I reiterate
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the merits of giving freedom to
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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an edge over the demerits as
this
would
contributed
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contribute
be contributed
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to
foster
Wrong verb form
fostering
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more creative
children
.
Submitted by majidimehrsa on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Child autonomy
  • Critical thinking
  • Self-confidence
  • Immediate gratification
  • Long-term benefits
  • Guidance
  • Informed choices
  • Boundaries
  • Responsibility
  • Individuality
  • Empathetic citizens
  • Consequences
  • Decision-making
What to do next:
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