IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that the human society has developed into a throw-away society, which is filled with plastic bags and rubbish. People consume and they do not think about the environment.

#people #society #plastic #bags #rubbish #environment
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the word consumerism has become a global pandemic for modern society. The tendency to "
throw-away
Correct your spelling
throw away
show examples
 and buy again" has been increasing enormously for the
last
Linking Words
 few decades. In my essay, I will discuss the possible positive and negative impacts of consumerism on the environment and how people can improve their attitude towards to the care about the planet. It is not a secret that the population of humanity has dramatically increased since the
last
Linking Words
 century. People have a better standard of living at the present time compared to the past.
In addition
Linking Words
, the style of life has changed and now we want to earn good money in order to go to the shop and buy everything that we want. But,
rarely
Correct pronoun usage
they rarely
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 about the consequences of consuming and what impact it has on the planet.
For example
Linking Words
, in any food
store
Add a comma
,store
show examples
 every piece of vegetable or fruit is covered by
plastic
Use synonyms
 paper,
Linking Words
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
 it is hard to find any item without
plastic
Use synonyms
. Unfortunately, a big part of the
plastic
Use synonyms
 rubbish will end up in oceans or in any other
nature
Replace the word
natural
show examples
 place. Scientists have published a report that If humans do not start to
changing
Change the form of the verb
change
show examples
 their habits and stop using
plastic
Use synonyms
, in the
nearest
Correct word choice
near
show examples
 future the environment will suffer dramatically.
In addition
Linking Words
, the population of many animal species will instinct forever. 
To conclude
Linking Words
, people need to stop buying things unconsciously in order to get rid of them after a short time just because they want to get a new one. Society has to the responsibility for the environment and the well-being of the planet. The consumerism of the goods which contain
plastic
Use synonyms
 leads to the danger of our world and nature, and we can not ignore that.
Linking Words
Otherwise
Add a comma
,Otherwise
show examples
 there is no chance for a successful future.
Submitted by udmitrienko on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: