Topic: Giving children and adolescents pocket money is common throughout the world. Do the advantages of this action outweigh its disadvantages?

#topic #children #adolescents #pocket #money #world #action

Nowadays, it is very common and popular around the world to give pocket

money

children

and

teenagers

However

, individuals are divided into two groups. The first group believes that there are no drawbacks to giving

money

to your

children

Nevertheless

, the second group reckons that there are some disadvantages and

parents

should not give

money

to their

children

. From my perspective, I do not have a concrete position. So, in

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will

further

explore

this

thought-provoking issue. On the one hand, it is important to support your

children

and give them some pocket

money

Firstly

parents

are not always near with their

children

As a result

, they cannot purchase some things for their

children

For instance

, the child decides that he wants to drink but he

did

Wrong verb form

does

show examples

not have

money

to buy

bottle

Add an article

a bottle

show examples

of water.

Moreover

, in the teen

years

Add a comma

,years

show examples

it is common for

teenagers

to separate from their

parents

In addition

teenagers

have more interest and want more than

children

For example

, buy new items for their wardrobe or go to the cinema. As a matter of fact, not all

teenagers

work and earn

money

Consequently

parents

have to help financially.

On the other hand

, today

teenagers

and even

children

do not have a healthy lifestyle. They drink alcohol and smoke. Considering

this

, they can spend their pocket

money

on bad things

such

as cigarettes and alcoholic drinks.

Furthermore

, if

teenagers

get a lot of

money

they can lose the understanding of the value of

this

money

Thus

, they will not have any motivation to work hard because they will understand that they will have

money

anyways

Correct your spelling

anyway

show examples

. In conclusion, there are some crucial disadvantages which can lead to bad consequences.

In contrast

, if it is possible to get over all drawbacks , there will be only the benefits that remain.

Submitted by slobodanatol83 on Fri Sep 08 2023

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16Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic: Giving children and adolescents pocket money is common throughout the world. Do the advantages of this action outweigh its disadvantages?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to the closure of shops in cities and towns Do you agree or disagree