Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Smartphones
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Smartphone
show examples
development
is growing massively. It is becoming
habit
Add an article
a habit
show examples
for most
children
to
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
most of their time using mobile cell
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
. It is normal
for using
Change preposition
to use
show examples
smartphone
Correct article usage
a smartphone
show examples
in daily routine. In my opinion,
this
case would
bring
Verb problem
have
show examples
a negative
impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
children
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children's
show examples
development
in the
future
. First and foremost, playing
smartphones
Change preposition
with smartphones
show examples
bring
Verb problem
has
show examples
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
impact
because
children
only focus on their
smartphones
and tend to be less
of
Correct word choice
aware of
show examples
awareness to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Games and content on their
smartphones
may
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
attract
children
to play
with
Correct pronoun usage
themwith
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.
In addition
, the
children
may be causing some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
adaptation
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
in certain
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
. In the
future
,
children
will have difficulties building
relation
Replace the word
relationships
show examples
with others
as well as
gaining new
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
.
Furthermore
, some of the research recommends that
children
do more physical activity in order to encourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
motoric
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
. Playing mobile phones for a long time and in the same position would make the
children
lazy
Rephrase
too lazy
show examples
to do any other
activities
.
However
, the
children
have to spend their time
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing physical
activities
and parents need to encourage their
children
to do so. There are some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
physical
activities
such
as swimming, cycling,
playing
Correct word choice
and playing
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football that will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
extremely
boosting
Wrong verb form
boost
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
development
in the
future
. It
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not only
gives
Verb problem
has
show examples
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
motoric
Correct your spelling
motor
show examples
skill
but
also
learn
Wrong verb form
on learning
show examples
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
other
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
.
To conclude
, playing
smartphones
Change preposition
on smartphones
show examples
give
Verb problem
has
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
negative
impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
development
in building
relation
Replace the word
relationships
show examples
with others
as well as
gaining new
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
.
Moreover
,
recent
Add an article
a recent
show examples
study gives a recommendation for
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
children
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
do physical
activities
to boost their motoric
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
in the
future
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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