Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugar products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
There are many
factory
produce Change to a plural noun
factories
food
and drink
Fix the agreement mistake
drinks
is
containing Unnecessary verb
apply
high
Add an article
a high
level
of Fix the agreement mistake
levels
sugar
, it
can Correct pronoun usage
which
causes
Change the verb form
cause
a
serious Correct article usage
apply
health
problem
in the long term. Fix the agreement mistake
problems
People
believe is
increasing Unnecessary verb
apply
price
of the Correct article usage
the price
products
will encourage people
to consume less sugar
. In this
essay, I disagree about
the statement. In my opinion, the Change preposition
with
government
role is to supervise Change noun form
government's
level
of Add an article
the level
sugar
in any manufacture
Replace the word
manufactured
products
as well as
they have to socialization
Replace the word
socialise
how
to healthy life.
There are many foods and Change preposition
on how
drink
products
contain
high Correct pronoun usage
that contain
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
sugars
. An idea to increase Change preposition
of sugars
price
of Add an article
the price
these
Change the determiner
this product
these products
product
isn’t encourage
Fix the infinitive
to encourage
people
to reduce
buy Verb problem
apply
it
. We have declared that Correct pronoun usage
them
people
like any food
and drink
containing with
Change preposition
apply
sugar
. In order to prevent people
is consuming high levels of sugar
, the government
has played main key role to control
and Change preposition
in controlling
supervise
it. One Wrong verb form
supervising
of
solution Change preposition
apply
it
may solve the Correct pronoun usage
that
problem
is develop
Fix the infinitive
to develop
food
and Correct article usage
a food
drink
policy which is control
containing Fix the infinitive
to control
level
of sugar
in any products
specifically to implement in all of
Change preposition
apply
food
and drink
company
. The Fix the agreement mistake
companies
government
has to state that
maximum Correct determiner usage
the
ingredient
sugar
in every product
. As a result
, the factory didn’t need
increase their Add the particle
toneed
products
Change the noun form
product
price
, but they will produce food
and drink
with the same of
Change preposition
apply
price
and more health
than in the previous.
Whilst, there is another the
Correct article usage
apply
government
role to adapt a society implement
healthy life. The Fix the infinitive
to implement
government
has to socialization
how to healthy life. Replace the word
socialise
Such
as restrict consume
factory Wrong verb form
restricting the consumption of
product
both Fix the agreement mistake
products
sugar
and no sugar
contain
. Verb problem
apply
Moreover
, there is another issue of
Change preposition
with
food
and drink
Fix the agreement mistake
drinks
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
produce
in the manufacturer Wrong verb form
produced
that is
containing other ingredient
Fix the agreement mistake
ingredients
such
preservatives
. Change preposition
as preservatives
A more
Correct article usage
More
consume
high levels Verb problem
apply
sugar
Change preposition
of sugar
combine
with Wrong verb form
combined
preservatives
Fix the agreement mistake
preservative ingredients
ingredient
will be
serious Verb problem
cause
to
Change preposition
apply
health
problem
in the long term Fix the agreement mistake
problems
such
as diabetes and cancer. Besides
, the government
has to encourage people
to produce food
and drink
by self
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
in
Change preposition
at
the
home. Correct article usage
apply
As a result
, the standard of ingredients will be more controlled by people
and healthier than manufacture
Replace the word
manufactured
products
.
To conclude
, creating a food
and drink
policy to control and supervise levels of sugar
is containing
in Wrong verb form
contained
the
Correct article usage
apply
food
and drink
product
is one Fix the agreement mistake
products
of
solution to prevent Change preposition
apply
people
consume
more Wrong verb form
from consuming
sugar
. Moreover
, the government
has to encourage people
to restrict consume manufacture Change preposition
of product
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
it
may contain Correct pronoun usage
that
preservatives
Fix the agreement mistake
preservative ingredients
ingredient
which is more
serious Add an article
a more
health
problem
in the future.Submitted by haloalwan on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.