IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows what anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years.

The chart below shows what anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years.
#anthropology #graduates #university #course #salaries #anthropologists #work #five #years
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie chart and the table illustrate the percentage of employment status of anthropology students after finishing their
bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
 degree class and the incomes of anthropology
graduates
Use synonyms
 in
work
Use synonyms
 after five years.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 over half of the
graduates
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 after they
graduated
Wrong verb form
graduate
show examples
while
Linking Words
 few of them are doing postgraduate study with part-
time
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
. Most of the
graduates
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freelance consultants and
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 government sector get higher salaries after five years compared to those who
work
Use synonyms
 for private companies. Looking at the data in more detail, we can see that the figure of the
graduates
Use synonyms
 who have
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 accounts for 52%, which comprises the highest proportion. Followed by those who
work
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
, the unemployed, who
work
Use synonyms
 full
time
Use synonyms
 with postgrad study comprise 15%, 12% and 8% respectively. As for those who have their
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 job
while
Linking Words
 studying postgrad accounts for just 5%. After five years of working, 50% of the
graduates
Use synonyms
 get paid the most (over $100,000) in the government sector, followed by 40% of those in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freelance consultants and 30% of those in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private companies. In comparison to private companies, only 20% of the
graduates
Use synonyms
 have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
salaries that are below $75,000
whereas
Linking Words
 45% of those who
work
Use synonyms
 for private firms get paid below $75,000.
Submitted by emily870828 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates, work, time with synonyms.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • anthropology graduates
  • undergraduate degree
  • part-time work
  • full-time work
  • postgraduate study
  • unemployment
  • career trends
  • employment opportunities
  • flexibility
  • specialization
  • competitive job market
  • salary
  • earning potential
  • private sector
  • government sector
  • freelance work
  • public policy
  • cultural preservation
  • consulting
  • corporate anthropology
  • expertise
  • accrued
  • distribution
  • sector
  • trend
What to do next:
Look at other essays: